We recently had the chance to connect with Erin Berry and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Erin, thank you so much for taking time out of your busy day to share your story, experiences and insights with our readers. Let’s jump right in with an interesting one: What are you most proud of building — that nobody sees?
My life today looks much different than it did a decade ago. That’s when everything shifted. I left an unhealthy marriage and took my two young kids and started over.
From the outside that marriage looked perfect. The suburban dream, but it never felt right. I had followed my conditioning to find a stable partner and marry them. In the process I had squelched my own hopes and aspirations.
I had this deep inner knowing that life was supposed to feel good and that we were supposed to be living a life we loved instead of going through the motions, yet I was stuck in going through the motions.
When I eventually left, I made a promise to myself that I would live a life I never had to escape from. I started my own business so I could be my own boss and create something meaningful in the world. I moved into a new home, and started to do things differently with my kids.
I was showing them by example that I deserved healthy love and so did they.
I discovered what lit me up, and I did more of that!
A decade later, my life is completely different and I live it on my terms.
Being a single mom solopreneuer has not always been the easiest, but it’s also allowed me to continue to put my family first.
I also get to live my purpose on this planet every single day. The work I do is fulfilling because I get to watch other people thrive.
A big part of what I teach others is how to be sovereign as this was my own journey. Being sovereign means being self governing, to be self contained. Being in charge of our own well being on all levels.
I had to undo a lot of beliefs about what was possible in order to create this, to not be the victim of my circumstances, and to understand that I’m the creatrix of my experience. Most of all I had to learn not to settle. To know that I was worthy and deserving of what I desired.
None of this would have been possible without the personal growth work I have done. It has been the most important work because it’s allowed me to clear what kept me stuck in old cycles so I could create what I have now. It allowed me to learn that I was worthy of more than I was experiencing, and to understand my resiliance when facing challenge.
I went from thinking I was a victim of my fate when I was younger, to now understanding that I am responsible for creating my reality.
It’s called work for a reason, it’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it.
I’m here now stronger than ever. I never gave up. I’m like the phoenix rising from the ashes.
I’m proud of what I’ve been able to accomplish in the past decade. I’m excited about what I create moving forward.
I’m also excited to help others do the same.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
My business and offerings have been an ever evolving expression of my own journey.
I have been in business for 9 years. As I’ve evolved, my business has as well. When I started my company, I was creating a yoga and retreat business. Retreats were something that I had been on personally and had experienced such transformation that I wanted to support others in having their own transformational experience. Retreats are still a part of my business, but they have certainly morphed over time from being more geared to self growth and personal development, and in the last few years adding couples retreats to the mix.
The timing of my marriage ending and my business beginning were identical, so as I transitioned to my maiden name, I also chose to add the name Bliss to my name because the thing I had always been known for was blissing people out. I still do! Instead of just blissing people out on the mat, I now help them create their most blissful lives and relationships. I love helping people find their bliss in all of the ways!
In 2020 I transitioned into Relationship & Intimacy Coaching. Post divorce, I had leaned into my own learning of relationships to better understand what we are up to and how to do it healthily after my not so healthy experience.
The more I learned, the more I wanted to share with everyone that would listen.
I am a purpose driven entrepreneur. I spent most of my adult life trying to figure out what I was here to do. It was only through my own journey of healing and embodying the work I’ve done that lead me to where I’m at now.
I’m most proud of the growth I’ve done in my own life and how I am teaching from a deep understanding based on my own experience, which is what makes me unique as there is only one me who has had my exact experience.
I deeply understand somatic healing, trauma, personal growth, and what it takes to undo what we have been trained to do. I am an energy healer as well, so I’m able to tackle the patterns and blocks of my clients on all levels, mental, emotional, somatically and energetically.
I also love humor and see that our journey doesn’t have to be heavy and hard all the time. I think we can also be playful and have fun.
Some of my favorite sessions with clients have been then ones where we go very deep, do some really deep healing and have fun while we do it.
I’m not a pushy coach, I have a gentle way of guiding my clients. I understand that we can’t open and feel safe to go where we need to go when we are pushed too hard.
I started a men’s group a year ago and absolutely adore working with the men. I have a pleasure membership for women where we explore pleasure for ourselves. I also lead a women’s group, and host various circles and workshops throughout the year.
I absolutely love what I do and it’s an absolute honor to work with my amazing clients. They inspire me every day.
Appreciate your sharing that. Let’s talk about your life, growing up and some of topics and learnings around that. What did you believe about yourself as a child that you no longer believe?
Most of us were taught to believe things about ourselves as children we should not believe.
Part of the work I do in the world is parental transformation and inner child healing. What I understand now is that even if we had the best care takers, who were there for us and gave us everything we needed, they probably didn’t meet our needs in the ways we needed our needs met. When this happens, as a child, because we’ve placed our parents on pedestals, we make it mean something about us. That something must be wrong with us to not get the need met int he way we needed it met.
Most of us develop stories about ourselves based on this experience. Usually around not being worthy, enough, lovable, ect…
Add to that that our caretakers were just doing the best they could with what they knew, most of them raising us just like they were raised. I like to say this is unconscious humans raising unconscious humans.
Many of the clients I have worked with received messaging around being too much or not enough.
I am an emotional Cancer who feels deeply and most of my family are introverted thinker types. So I was known as the overly emotional one, easy to pick on and high maintenance for having needs.
What this meant in my early adulthood was that it wasn’t ok to show emotion or have any needs. I kept seeking familiar in emotionally unavailable partners.
It took a lot of my own personal work to clear these beliefs. I now understand that I am an empath and that deeply feeling is actually my super power.
Asking for what I need in life has been quite the journey. I really thought having any needs was being needy and high maintenance. After doing my own healing work, I understand that what was actually happening was I was asking someone with their own trauma, lack of emotional maturity, and unconsciousness.
One of the most powerful things we can ever do for ourselves is our own healing work because you are not responsible for your trauma, but you are responsible for your healing.
It’s been my life’s work to learn to love and accept myself, to set the boundaries, to ask for what I need and even what I desire, and to teach other people how to do the same, because we are all worthy of this.
What’s something you changed your mind about after failing hard?
Like most of us, I was led to believe that endings represented failures. So for the first part of my life, I held on to relationships much longer than I should have because I believed that if they ended, I had in some way failed.
It was really after ending a 20 year relationship and marriage that I saw that this wasn’t the case at all.
There are people who come into our lives for a season and some for a reason and that not all connections are meant to last forever. In fact, as we grow and evolve, so do our relationships and the people we relate with. So actually, when we don’t let go of connections we are complete with, we block ourselves from the next level of connection that reflects where we are at now in our lives.
I personally do not see my divorce as a failure, but I felt this deep conditioning come up for freedom when it first happened. The “til death do us part” motto was the story I had been made to believe. Yet, I was also grappling with the fact that I knew that my marriage was no longer right for me, and was no longer healthy for anyone involved. Our kids learn by watching more than they do by listening. For a minute I did think I would try and stay until they were older, but then I realized that I was modeling what relationships look like and I did not want them to follow in my relational footsteps.
It was only after that ending that I really leaned into my relational healing work and learned what I believe to be the truth. That endings are not failures, that if we learned and grew from the connection that it was a success. That all connection actually brings us closer to our original essence if we allow it, because it shows us where we still have healing to do. I learned a ton from my marriage and it’s ending actually launched me on to my current path of not only healing my own relational wounds but now helping others do the same.
Ending my marriage ended up being such a freeing experience for me because I let go of ideas that no longer served me. In the years that have followed, I have had several friendships and relationships come and go. Each one a beautiful lesson that came to a conclusion. Each time someone or something else filled into that space that was a match for where and who I am now.
I’m not sure I actually believe we can fail. I think it’s all divine. We are on our path, no matter how twisty it may be.
My biggest takeaway has been to meet myself with so much love, self forgiveness and compassion for what I didn’t know back then that in hindsight could have saved me some serious grief. Yet, I’m grateful for all of it because I wouldn’t be who I am today without it.
So a lot of these questions go deep, but if you are open to it, we’ve got a few more questions that we’d love to get your take on. Where are smart people getting it totally wrong today?
Intellect is one thing. Emotional maturity is another. Even if you have all of the knowledge in the world, it doesn’t matter if no one is listening.
Most people have a deep desire to be heard. In my experience this goes even deeper…
What most people really want is to be understood.
There is much divisiveness out in the world right now and it’s almost like everyone keeps getting louder and louder. As if whoever talks the loudest wins.
But really this takes us further from connection and creates more isolation.
Makes me think of a quote I heard in a yoga class recently. “You can be right, or you can be kind.”
One of the best ways to be kind, be curious.
The more curious we are, the more kind we are because others feel understood. Instead of forcing our knowledge or opinions on others, we get to connect and remember we are all human, no matter our beliefs.
Understanding leads to a sense of connection and belonging.
Spirituality 101, we all live in our version of reality and our story. Everyone lives in story. Without curiosity we cannot hear the other’s story. Instead we just hear that they are wrong.
You can have all the intellect in the world, but if we can’t hear each other, it doesn’t matter anyways.
So don’t get louder, get curious.
Okay, so let’s keep going with one more question that means a lot to us: When do you feel most at peace?
I feel most at peace when I’m in nature especially in nature soaking in a hot spring.
Nothing calms me more than standing under a dark sky filled with thousands of stars. It really reminds me that anything I’m currently going through doesn’t mean much in the grand scheme of things. It’s the perspective of knowing that whatever I’m going through is insignificant compared to the expansiveness of all that is.
I feel at peace when I’m with my kids and they are happy and thriving. When we are all piled on the couch watching a movie and all feels right in the world because my peeps are with me.
When I cuddle with my cat while he purrs.
The safety I feel in my partner’s arms. Like he could protect me from anything in the world.
I feel at peace early in the morning when I meditate and start my day intentionally. When I’m with just myself in my own energy. It has taken me a long time to get to the place where I am comfortable in my own company and now it’s my favorite place.
Often it’s the reminder that I can choose peace in every single moment.I don’t have to wait for it to find me.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://erinberrybliss.com
- Instagram: @erinberrybliss
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/erin-berry-7948a0/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/eberryblissful/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@erinberrybliss634
Image Credits
Cera Reine Meintzer
Kit Tincher
