Life and Work with Yaya

Today we’d like to introduce you to Yaya.

Yaya, let’s start with your story. We’d love to hear how you got started and how the journey has been so far.
I have to back up to almost four years ago when my husband ended our marriage. We were married almost 8 1/2 years, together almost 12. It was right after the divorce was finalized that I stumbled on an article about an abuse tactic called gaslighting. At this point, I had realized that I was being abused that entire relationship (I had even missed or blacked out much of the physical and sexual abuse due to it not looking the way we often think it looks like).

I had just started getting serious about my hobby blog at this point, and after a few months of learning the ins and outs of all the different abuses, abuse tactics, and the fallout for the victims, I decided to provide education and lead others to resources through my blog to help them understand and get out of their own abusive situations.

I have such a wonderful support system, that getting healthy after abuse was made possible for me, but I know I am not the norm in this situation. Many abuse victims struggle with worse health issues than I did, they are often left with very little money and resources, and many even struggle with addiction and homelessness. I knew I wanted to take what I was blessed with, and share it with others to help them heal and get back on their feet after abuse.

I not only want people to thrive after abuse but in their healing, I want to encourage them to help others as well!

Great, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
No, it has not been a smooth road at all. However, it’s been a very rewarding road.

First off, I still have to share 50% custody of my three beautiful children with my abuser. I have to see and interact with him on a semi-regular basis. It’s not done without strict boundaries, though.

While researching for more education on abuse, I have had a lot of flashbacks, triggers, and traumas resurface, which have caused me to have to decide whether to continue or quit. There are many times where I think certain things don’t bother me anymore, and I’ve been surprised at how deeply rooted these issues go. Trauma is intense, and healing from the traumas are probably even more so.

On the business end of things, not having a working knowledge of much of the technology I’ve needed to run my blog and business has been frustrating. Especially because I like to get things done that I have my mind set on. The positive side to this is that I have learned a ton about things I’d never thought I would care about, need, and some things I had never even heard of before.

My advice to other women is to research ahead of time. Not in order to talk yourself out of anything, but to save some headaches. You can’t know what you don’t know, but research will help you learn what you need to for your audience and your niche.

Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there, try new things, and to offer your products and services for a good price! If somethings not working, try something different!

Stop being so hard on yourself! The goal isn’t to gain a following, it’s to make a difference where you can make it count!

And most importantly… get yourself into a community who understands, supports, and helps you! I have an amazing writing, blogging, and creative community. We keep each other accountable, we bounce ideas and give feedback, we listen to each other’s struggles, and we offer our expertise so that we are well rounded. When you are an entrepreneur, especially a creative one, the loneliness and struggle can be intense. Community is necessary!

Please tell us more about your work, what you are currently focused on and most proud of.
I’m a little bit of what you would consider a jack of all trades in a sense.

I began with culinary as my career of choice, and that turned into a long career in restaurants and hospitality, that included hosting, serving, bartending, and bar management. I loved the competitive and fast-paced environment. But, it was unhealthy for me. Long hours, late nights, surrounded by destructive people. I miss the food and drink creation, the instant feedback, and the quick money, but otherwise, I’m happy to be on to new things.

Now, I consider myself an entrepreneur. I love to create a community with the intent of creating resources for people in need. I blog, and I do love writing. I am a marketing manager. I’m also pursuing to expand my portfolio in photography, graphic design, and probably more things in the future as I try to do most things myself to expand my blog. All of it comes together, and I love the potential and possibilities the future holds.

I am known for my self-education in domestic violence and personality disorders. Sometimes, I feel like I should just go get my degree in psychology. For now, I’ll just continue to do the research on my own.

I am in the process of expanding, to reach not only abuse victims, but to also include everyone who desires to live out their purpose despite their pain: past, present, and future! I am so excited as I am gearing up to launch a new website that is going to be offering so much more than I have currently been providing! You all are the first to know… I haven’t announced it yet! Be on the lookout, and get ready to tell others! (So excited!!!! Yay!)

I think what sets me apart is my honesty and transparency. It’s just who I am. I want to truly know others, and I want them to truly know me. That translates over into my business. It’s hard to build a community if you keep everyone at an arm’s length. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s okay! At the end of the day, I’m still going to be me.

Are there any apps, books, podcasts or other resources that you’ve benefited from using?
I am a marketing manager, so I’m on social media quite a bit, and I love learning new ways to improve on the different platforms.

Pinterest is always there for new, fresh ideas, and to help me when my creativity decides to stop working!

I use HoursTracker, it’s a timekeeping app. I paid the one time, $10 fee for unlimited jobs. I clock not only the time I put into my jobs but how much time I’m spending time with family, sleeping, wasting, etc. That way, I can see if my work/life balance is where I want it to be, and improve it where I want!

I use the Udemy app to buy inexpensive courses to learn new skills.

Google photos, the free Lightroom app, Canva, Later.com, and Hootsuite all help me keep up and stay ahead with my social media posting.

My Bible app goes wherever I go because life doesn’t work without it!

My favorite books for abuse help and bettering ourselves to avoid future abuse are:
Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend
Instruments in the Redeemer’s Hands by Paul David Tripp
Love Must Be Touch by Dr. James C. Dobson
When People are Big and God is Small by Edward T. Welch
Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow
(These books aren’t necessarily specific on abuse, but I feel like each one can be applied so much to change life more than some of the abuse specific literature.)

Contact Info:

• Website: maketimetocuddle.com
• Email: yaya@maketimetocuddle.com
• Instagram: @maketimetocuddle, @yayaofyandc
• Facebook: maketimetocuddle
• Twitter: MakeTime2Cuddle

Image Credit:
The two pictures of me with my kids were done by Autumn Rae of Autumn Rae Photography located in Colorado Springs, CO.
email: autumnraephotography@yahoo.com
website: autumnrae.photography
Facebook: autumnraephotography719
Instagram: autumnrae_photography

Getting in touch: VoyageDenver is built on recommendations from the community; it’s how we uncover hidden gems, so if you know someone who deserves recognition please let us know here.