Kristina Atkins shared their story and experiences with us recently and you can find our conversation below.
Kristina, it’s always a pleasure to learn from you and your journey. Let’s start with a bit of a warmup: What makes you lose track of time—and find yourself again?
ADHD. Kidding. (Kind of.)
In all seriousness, it’s definitely any kind of creative project. Playing piano, painting a bedroom, coloring in my kids’ coloring books (because adult ones are way too detailed for me)–but most notably and significantly, writing. I forget what time it is. I forget to shower. I even forget to eat until I’m nauseous and shaking. Natalie Goldberg said, “Writing practice brings us back to the uniqueness of our own minds and an acceptance of it. We all have wild dreams, fantasies, and ordinary thoughts. Let us to feel the texture of them and not be afraid of them.” It’s easy to feel like just another brick in the wall when you’re a mom of three living in the suburbs and driving a minivan. But when I write I remember what makes me *me.* When I’m unable to write for long periods of time, I lose myself. My mental health suffers. My family and friends can always tell. Then when I’m able to write–even if it’s only once–I’m back. I love myself again. I’m a better wife and mother. I’m happier and my moods are balanced.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
I’m a science fiction and fantasy writer who loves chocolate and desperately wants a cat. I’m also a mother of three crazy boys, wife of the luckiest man on earth, and a word-nerd introvert who is infinitely fascinated by people. Originally from South Carolina, I’ve been fortunate to call Colorado home for the last 18 years, with no intention of ever leaving. I started writing in middle school by way of online free-form roleplaying, which led to a creative writing class sophomore year of high school, which eventually led to graduating with my MFA in Creative Writing from Converse College in South Carolina in 2012.
Fantasy is my jam, and sci-fi is my Nutella. (I’m not a fan of peanut butter.) I have bipolar disorder and ADHD, so incorporating mental illness in my stories is incredibly important to me. I’m drawn to the dark and melancholy in many ways, and as my D&D gamemaster says, I love the drama. I’m currently writing a story set in a fantasy version of medieval Venice with a main character whose mother died of suicide, because she suffered from postpartum depression. But I also love romance. And political intrigue. And humor. So there’s plenty of those too (especially the romance). They say one book can’t be everything, but I say, “Hold my beer.”
Thanks for sharing that. Would love to go back in time and hear about how your past might have impacted who you are today. What part of you has served its purpose and must now be released?
The part that told me I’m average. That I should be like everyone else. That I should care what everyone else thinks. That I shouldn’t rock the boat or be too big or care too much or even have a freak flag, let alone fly it high. The part that asked, who am I to shine?
I think I needed to feel this way in order to reject, for certain, those should’s and should not’s. Like trying on clothes, sometimes we try on several beliefs and attitudes before we can find The One. And The One that fits me says I can be as big and as bright as I want, that it’s okay to rock the boat, that all I care people think about me is that I’m kind. And if they don’t, oh well. Maybe one day I’ll decide that isn’t working for me either. And that’s okay. We don’t get everything right at first, or second, or third, nor should we. We contain multitudes. We change and we grow and sometimes we regress, but all of this means we’re human and alive and pressing forward.
I’ve been releasing all of this for the last ten years. It might take ten more before I finally shed all that isn’t me. That kind of undoing is a journey, and one I’m happy to be on.
What did suffering teach you that success never could?
That I’m tenacious as hell. I never had the words, “I’m the type of person to give up easily,” go through my mind, but the belief was there. Combing through my life–especially those formative years–I have no idea where I picked it up. My parents taught us to persevere. My high school Art History teacher gave me an undeserved dismal grade on a midterm project because she didn’t like me, so I made the perfect, exceeds-expectations final project. I was not the type of person to give up easily. Yet somewhere along the way, I internalized that idea. Then one day, in my late 20s, I realized that wasn’t true at all. I realized I have tenacity in spades. This happened after a writing dark night of the soul, when I decided to keep going despite my setbacks. It changed the way I approach any challenge.
If I always succeeded, I never would’ve learned that. Perhaps I never would’ve gained that trait at all. There’s no way to know for certain, but I’m grateful that my struggles gifted me incredible resilience.
Next, maybe we can discuss some of your foundational philosophies and views? Is the public version of you the real you?
Absolutely. I’m an open book–so open, it might make people uncomfortable. I wasn’t always this way, but bipolar II disorder unlocked something in me. Not immediately, but it didn’t take long until I told close friends about my illness. I watched something shift in them–this belief of what mental illness looks like–and I found power in vulnerability. That power is connection between people, and I believe there are few greater forces. There are still things I hold close to the chest, because not everyone has the right to know everything about us, but I never lie about who I am. My writing is an extension of that. Before I grew comfortable with getting absolutely real with people, my writing barely dipped past the surface. It was pleasant. Unchallenging. Boring. Now I tackle the hard issues and explore heavy emotions and write things that are sometimes uncomfortable–for myself, as well as the reader. And my stories are all the better for it. So my writing is 100% the real me as well.
Before we go, we’d love to hear your thoughts on some longer-run, legacy type questions. Are you tap dancing to work? Have you been that level of excited at any point in your career? If so, please tell us about those days.
This is one of those things that swings quickly with writing. Right now, mostly not. I’m writing a really tough section of the book, and the resistance has really piled up. I’m also way more behind on getting book two out than I ever thought I’d be, which has created quite the block. And I’ve just come out a two-month bout of depression and sickness, so my momentum is gone completely. However, whenever I do write, I have a hard time stopping. As I continue to get back to a solid writing routine, that tap dancing feeling will return. The last time I experienced it was fall of 2023. The words were flowing, and I could not get enough writing time in. It was exhilarating! I know I’ll get back to that place once I push past this tough section. Hopefully before then, once I build my momentum back up. These are the times grit and tenacity are vital. In some ways, those are the best skills any creative can gain.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.kristinaatkins.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katkinsauthor
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/katkinsauthor
- Other: Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@katkinsauthor
Image Credits
Justin Ahlmann, Kurt Atkins, Celeste Tyler
