Meet Gillian Newman

Today we’d like to introduce you to Gillian Newman.

Gillian, please share your story with us. How did you get to where you are today?
I started my docuseries social media campaign back in January of 2018. I wanted to shine light on those who are living with mental illness in a raw and real way. I was able to share this on my own social platform and received support from people all across the nation who wanted to see people sharing about their mental health journey so openly and candidly.

I am an artist, and I saw this as an opportunity to make a living journal where I shared my daily journal entries that sometimes were dark, reflective of my days, and sometimes overwhelmingly filled with gratitude. That is what it’s like living with bipolar. All in all, I want all forms of my art to reflect my most raw self. I’m a musician working on an EP as well. This is another platform for me to process and express my experience. I believe music is a unique space where people can relate and understand that they aren’t alone with their emotions. Music has been a huge part of my life, my journey of self-expression, and healing and I want to create that space for others. I feel this is how I can best give back what I have received.

My overarching goal is to combat modern loneliness and suicidality. People oftentimes, including myself, feel this overwhelming sense of loneliness because of rapid changes and confusing life challenges in their 20s. There is so much that people bottle up for fear of judgement that if they felt they had a safe place to share, their loneliness wouldn’t be so overwhelming. That’s something that I’ve always wanted – a safe space – and I’m happy to pay it forward.

When I moved to Colorado, I didn’t know what to expect. I had never visited, but I moved to work for an organization called The Phoenix where co-occurring conditions were met with kindness and community. A lot of the people I work with live with mental illness and all people I work with are in recovery from substance use disorder. This has taught me a further sense of compassion and love for those whom I once held prejudice about.

Has it been a smooth road?
After moving to Colorado, my mental health took quite a downfall. I became extremely depressed and homesick. I didn’t know how to make community. My projects fell to the back burner as I became overwhelmed with working two jobs. I saw people in a different light in my second job, and that bred a sense of acceptance but also disappointment. I just wanted to go home. I let these feelings fester and I realized I wasn’t living up to the values I’ve set for myself. I was hiding underneath inauthenticity. I wasn’t striving to be my most authentic self.

Therefore, in the beginning of 2020, after a breakdown that I had never experienced before, I decided to attend an IOP, one that helped me with coping skills, dialectical behavioral therapy, radical acceptance, and so many more skills that helped save my life. I truly believe that.

As someone who has struggled with suicidality my entire life, I now feel like I have the tools in my tool belt to belt to show up as I am and pay it forward.

Is our city a good place to do what you do?
I think that this modality of work is necessary everywhere and anywhere. There is no “best” place. Denver has been the most influential in my own mental health journey and since my overarching goal is to pay it forward and create safe spaces for conversations, I believe that it should be implemented in some way everywhere.

I think that the city should try their best to combat stigmatization. For example, in the 5 points district there are many people experiencing homelessness and living with co-occurring conditions like substance use disorder and bipolar. Those individuals should be met with the same compassion as those who aren’t experiencing homelessness, and there should be more financial resources allotted to help achieve that goal.

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