Conversations with Kim Graves

Today, we’d like to introduce you to Kim Graves.

Hi Kim, can you start by introducing yourself? We’d love to learn more about how you got to where you are today.
Hi Denver Colorado! For those of you who do not know me, I am Kim Graves, a passionate, friendly, and fun lifestyle portrait photographer for families, maternity, newborns, and couples in Colorado. One of my favorite songs is “Second Chances” by Gregory Alan Isakov. A line Isakov sings, “If it weren’t for second chances, we would all be alone.” I saw Isakov at CU Boulder when he played with the CU orchestra. This song resonates with me. My story is a story of second chances. A story of how to start over and create something beautiful in the aftermath of tragedy.

I am an artist and have been since I was old enough to hold a crayon. Growing up in a family of artists in the 90s well before the digital age of art I gravitated towards pencils, pens, and pastels. I won local awards for my fine art; however, everything changed when I became a young mom. I fell deeply in love with my kiddo, I was gifted an SLR by my younger sister, and I began documenting my family in artistic images of my children’s adventures and day-to-day life. My love of photography is closely tied to my love of family and finding joy with my lens.

I started my photography business for the first time over a decade ago in Superior, Colorado. Family and friends had noticed my photography. People began to hire me to take family portraits and maternity and newborn sessions. I adored the natural evolution of creating art in my own family and creating artistic portraits for families at different milestones in their lives.

I have always felt photography is an inspired way to document family legacies with beautiful images of joy-filled moments that are so fleeting. A mentor of mine, Elena S Blair, once said in a mastermind course I took that people often photograph what they are afraid of losing. This comment, in many ways, is foreboding when I look back now at my story.

I married the father of my kiddos, and life was not perfect in my first marriage. Behind closed doors, my first husband struggled with mental illness, which left me walking on eggshells. We moved from my hometown to Sioux Falls, SD, and eventually to Boulder County, Colorado, to follow his career. At times, we found stability in our relationship, but never for long.

Things in my first marriage began to deteriorate after moving to Boulder County. This pulled my focus from my business towards survival. In 2019 I realized I had no choice but to leave a violent marriage, I am a domestic violence survivor. Between the years 2019 and 2022, I fought to gain freedom from the shadow of my ex-husband.

I do not dwell much on those dark years. Nor do I talk about them much; however, giving a voice to domestic violence and, most importantly to me, the beautiful life that can be created in the aftermath of leaving an abuser is important to me. Often, women are afraid of the fallout of leaving an abuser – I know I was. I wish I could have seen the beautiful life I would build.

Now, my life is wonderful! I moved to a home where I could make new, happy memories. I am remarried to my second husband. He is definitely my biggest fan and largest supporter. Almost exactly a year ago, he looked at me and my 9-5 teaching job and said, “You are not happy teaching. You need to find work that makes you happy.” I decided on St Patrick’s Day 2023 to pursue photography full-time. I set out to start a business but quickly learned that my lifestyle needed to change to grow my business. I needed to redefine my values.⁠

Working a 9-5 promoted laziness in me. Getting out of a violent marriage put me in survival mode. I was not living my life. Instead, I was reacting to fear and living on autopilot. Get up, go to work, get home, have dinner, and go to bed. Much of what I had valued in life had disappeared without me even noticing! I was not working out, I was not eating healthy, I was not reading books – I was not intentionally living. ⁠
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Remarrying an amazing, supportive man and leaving teaching opened space for me to focus on my health and well-being again. I needed a clearer mind to be my own boss. I sat down and redefined all my values. I let go of my fear of my ex. I wrote mission statements for my life. ⁠
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In doing so, I shifted from unhealthy habits like poor eating to eating healthy foods. I changed from a glass of wine at dinner to a glass of water. I prioritized exercise. I fell in love with books all over again and made time every night to read – instead of watching TV. Although I still make time for Love is Blind. I started intentional living and I have continued to do so. My second chance led to a miraculous marriage and a business that woke me up! A lot of joy has flooded into my life, there is life after divorce and domestic violence and it is everything I hoped it would be!

⁠We all face challenges, but would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?
When Denver Voyager reached out to me, I was incredibly grateful to share the journey of my business this past year: to focus on all the wonderful people I have met and moments I have been blessed to capture with my camera. I would love it if my story was simply about capturing how beautiful life is – about the love I have with my new husband, the triumphs of my children, and watching my business grow and flourish.

However, nervousness about discussing obstacles was definitely ever-present. I do not talk about the obstacles I have overcome in the last few years because, as I said before, I want to focus on the life that can be created in the aftermath of tragedy. The truth is deeper and less pleasant – as obstacles often can be.

When Denver Voyager emailed me, “Our goal is to give our interviewees an opportunity to tell their story in their own words without having parts of their story erased/censored/overlooked/etc.” I realized this was an opportunity to gain power in my own narrative, a chance I have rarely had as a domestic violence survivor.

I have lived with fear and self-doubt – too nervous to publicly share my story. The last time my ex-husband assaulted me, he held me down on the floor and promised me he would ruin my life. I believed him. I carried that dread with me, and sometimes still do to this day. It was immobilizing in every aspect of my life.

The day following the last assault, the Boulder County DA and a detective came to my front door. The DA is very proactive on cases that are considered high risk. Mine was considered high risk due to my ex-husband’s assault on me, which included strangulation. In domestic violence, high risk is when homicide or familicide is likely. The support and seriousness that the DA took with my case helped me get safety from my ex and helped me heal so I could have a second chance.

Leaving my ex was the hardest thing I have ever done and I almost lost my life doing it. However, my ex-husband is immaterial to my story. My story is now entirely my own – I fought hard for financial stability, raised my kids as a single mom, and believed in myself enough to pursue my own business. This is my story, and I want to own it.

As you know, we’re big fans of you and your work. For our readers who might not be as familiar with what you do, what can you tell them about what you do?
I have always been an artist and a light chaser. I was born into a family of artists and musicians. My photography work came after many years of fine artwork with pastels, pens, and pencils – whilst growing up beside painters, pianists, and singers. My childhood was a tapestry of sunlit wooded landscapes, hills, mountains, lakes, and ocean mixed with varying tunes of country, rock n roll, or classical pieces.

The second I picked up a camera in my early 20s, I never looked back at fine art. My heart was stolen by my camera, and my real work began. My work is my life’s pursuit of chasing the light and capturing my client’s love, joy, and story with my lens. I take every photography session booked to heart from the first moments. It is important to know your photographer, and it is equally important for your photographer to know you. This is a cornerstone principle in my business; definitely where art meets business!

From the first interaction we have I strive to educate you on who I am, what my style is, and what your experience will be like, as well as, getting to know you and your family or significant other. Every photography session fills me with excitement at the prospect of the artistic images we will create. The same anticipation I feel when capturing my own family is jittering through me when I am creating your images.

I want to share with my clients the experience of being out on the beautiful trails and fields of Colorado with my camera at golden hour. The way my musical and artist family shared the experience of nature with me.

Are any books, apps, podcasts, or blogs that help you do your best?
Oh my goodness, Y’all! I have been dedicating a lot of time to finding motivational and educational inspiration for business. One of my all-time favorite books currently is “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen R Covey. This book has been life-changing as it has made me re-evaluate my life’s principles and create mission statements for both my personal life and business.

A year ago, I started reading “Rising Strong” by Brene Brown. This book has been instrumental in helping me own my story and rise from rough times with grace. Brown quotes The Man in Arena by Theodore Roosevelt. Right before I left teaching, I started reading “Creativity, Inc” by Ed Catmull. This book spoke to me about how to nurture and create in a business capacity. He spoke about his company, Pixar Animation, and his journey as a digital creative and a business leader.

Lastly, “Raising Happiness” by Christine Carter has been a lifetime favorite of mine, straight from the positive psychology movement at UC Berkeley, where I obtained my undergraduate in psychology and was a student of Dacher Keltner – the founder of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley. This book has been pivotal not only for raising my children but also for defining values in my life. One of my main takeaways has been gratitude practices.

Pricing:

• Lifestyle Newborn Session: $750
• Lifestyle Maternity Session: $525
• Lifestyle Family Session: $695
• Couples and Engagements: $695

Contact Info:

• Website: www.kimgravesphotos.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimgravesphotos/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kimgravesphotos