Conversations with Micah Ingram

Today we’d like to introduce you to Micah Ingram.

Hi Micah, can you start by introducing yourself? We’d love to learn more about how you got to where you are today?
My story is tricky to summarize. I grew up in the South. As I like to call it, the buckle of the bible belt. Now, I’m sure many would dispute the true location of the belt buckle being Knoxville, TN; but I think it’s a safe bet to say my experiences placed me within a 100 mile radius, in the least. I grew up more urban than most stories I’ve heard, coming out of Tennessee, but I still know what a good glass of sweet tea tastes like. I’ve had my fair share of backyard BBQ’s and old baptist church revivals. I’m an avid user of the word “y’all”, and catching “lightning” bugs in jars in the summer time was still a fond part of my childhood. I recall eating Honeysuckle right off the tree, and playing outside until the lights came on. That was more of a 80’s kid thing, perhaps, still…I miss coming home for dinner and having to wash up first because I smelled like “outside”. I say all this, to say that I do have fond memories of my childhood. I might have to squint a little and think way, way back; but they’re in there. There seems to be long spans of time when it’s mostly just a dark void of suspicion in between random, scattered imagery that fades just as fast as I recall it. Some school plays, some heartbreaks, getting braces for the first time…but the real, solid memories seem to surface right before and around the age of high-school. It was around adolescence when a few things became apparent to me: I was gay, my family wouldn’t tolerate it, and I was trapped in this reality until I would turn 18. By the time I turned 18, I had no clue how to navigate life on my own. Everything up until that point, had been decided for me. My parents told me what clothes were “appropriate” to wear, how to style my hair, what music to listen to, what books to read, who I “should” be friends with and who I shouldn’t associate with, etc. Anything that makes someone an individual, was already decided for me. It was a bit like Rumspringa once I turned 18 and left home. I wanted to experience everything that had been restricted or spoken quietly about. There was an almost instinctual desire to dive head first into everything once forbidden. There had been such a fuss made about it, after all; with no real explanation as to why. That’s when my journey with drugs & alcohol truly began. It was anything to alter my state of mind really. Seeing as how I had no sense of self-identity, I was extremely self-conscious, awkward and uncomfortable in most social settings. I felt like substances granted me the ability to “be myself”. I didn’t quite know how to act without something in my system and I certainly wasn’t at the level of self-awareness that is necessary to begin exploring why that was the case. Life continued on like this for the next 14 years. At the point of reaching my “rock bottom”, I was homeless, dependent on heroin/opiates, self-harming as a means of having some semblance of control over my life & contemplating suicide on an almost daily basis. The process of “getting my shit together” wasn’t linear for sure. It took a few attempts. Essentially I got fed up with the way that I existed within the world & I had this innate knowing that there was something more that existed right beyond what I could fathom or see. I knew I had a purpose. I knew I couldn’t continue on the way that I was much longer & I had lost pretty much everything material that once held value. To add a little razzle dazzle to the equation, I had begun having numerous OBE’s, “out of body experiences”, accompanied with visions & messages that would leave me searching for deeper meaning, and somewhat spiraling mentally. Everyone assumed it was either related to years of drug use, or that it was due to a mental disorder that I must have had. I’m quite familiar with drug-induced hallucinations and this was nothing like anything I had experienced before. Plus, these moments were occurring when I was sober & had actually picked up in frequency after I had entered into sober living for 3 months. I can’t quite paint the picture of what it feels like to suddenly become aware that I was more than my physical vessel. That we all are. It set me on a path of soul searching like I had never known before. I became obsessed with “self-mastery” as I call it. Not saying this is the most healthy or balanced method but it’s what worked for me at that time. I became increasingly dedicated with doing whatever was necessary to have my words align with my actions. I got into therapy. I got involved with community resources; NA, AA, just about every meeting I could be a part of. I began to develop my own personal relationship with my higher power, free from outside influence, from my parents or anyone telling me what I “should or shouldn’t believe”. That was the most essential component. I think we should all have the freedom and the privilege of believing or not believing in whatever we desire. If it makes us want to become a better version of ourselves, I say embrace it. It doesn’t have to match up with what anyone else believes either. I don’t think it’s always meant to. Spirituality isn’t a one size fits all template. I found what works for me and if I hadn’t, I don’t think I would have been able to maintain my sobriety for all of this time. It gave me strength and reminded me of my own power and ability to take back control of my own human experience. That’s the interesting thing I’ve discovered, we have control and also we don’t. I believe it’s been a beautiful dance of co-creation that has assisted me in getting to where I’m at today. I’m sober, I have my own apartment, my own vehicle, things I would’ve only dreamed about less than a decade ago. The me, 6 years ago prayed to be the me that I am today. I’ve had the opportunity to work within the school system and speak to our youth about my experiences. I’m living proof that you can go from being a strung out junkie with absolutely nothing and no one around, and alchemize that experience into a story of strength and courage. It’s not what happens to us, after all, it’s what we do with what happens to us. It hasn’t been easy at all, and I don’t think it’s necessarily always meant to be. We have to experience the ‘bad” along with the “good”. We’re meant to explore the full range of our human emotions and I can definitely say I’ve been there and back more times than I can count. My journey of personal discovery and evolution is far from over but i’m enjoying where I’m presently at. Being able to speak my truth and story and hopefully inspire others who might have fallen into the trap of believing they’re powerless or that it will never get better. I’m here to say you are more powerful than you’ve been taught to believe and it ABSOLUTELY can get better. You just have to make a choice.

We all face challenges, but looking back would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?
I was under the impression that the first question was meant for me to summarize everything… lol sorry about the novela. But it has definitely NOT been a smooth road. There was a time when I didn’t think I’d reach the age of 30, let alone 35, or where I’m at now, a year away from turning 40. Growth is not linear. LIfe is a series of spirals. We visit and re-visit themes and lessons, to aid in our soul’s evolution and personal development. This never really ends. I can say that if we shift our perspective, it can become a smoother ride, but that’s not always the first thing we want to do when we’re knee deep in the b.s. of life. Some of my struggles were finding my own sense of self-identity. Due to my childhood, I had to basically re-parent myself. I had to become the adult that I needed when I was a child. I experienced a lot of trauma, as many of us have unfortunately, but I think if we are able to shift our perspective on certain events, it can allow so much healing to take place. It takes consistent effort, but as we all know, we don’t always have our “best” to give each and every day. It’s duality at it’s finest. It’s ACTION and REST, it’s giving ourselves grace and compassion and still motivating ourselves to be active participants in our own human experience. Balance is the theme and the key always, in my opinion. I don’t much speak to my own family and that’s okay. I’ve had to become comfortable with my own company. Solitude can trick the mind into believing we’re alone in this life, but we never are. Sure, with our human interpretation, one could say they are “alone” if no one is around them. I just mean, energetically we are all connected and that It’s okay to be alone for periods of time. You start to love and learn about yourself in ways that just aren’t possible if you’re always consumed with other people’s daily existence or problems. Even with knowing these facets to life, there’s still days when it feels like I know nothing at all and i’m back at square one. That’s the spiral component. If we didn’t have struggles, we wouldn’t be able to fully appreciate the wins and good times.

Can you tell our readers more about what you do and what you think sets you apart from others?
My work? Well I like to say that I’m all about empowering others. If there’s an opportunity to uplift someone, I want to take it. Especially our younger generation. It’s easy to get caught up, as adults in what is problematic or difficult…bills, coworkers, relationships..etc.; but the kids are going through an entirely different experience. To top it all off, their brains are still developing and yet they’re expected, many times, to have their act together or to just know how to navigate life. It’s quite ridiculous if you really think about it. Most adults I know, are still in the process of getting their lives manageable. I’ve worked within high-schools as a type of mentor you could say. I don’t have a formal degree in counseling but I also think, lived experiences goes much further than a piece of paper in a frame. Might just be my opinion though. I also have a YouTube channel called the Esoteric Nomad Podcast, where I have just begun to share details from my own story and life. I just started it this year, but i’m quite proud of it, considering I had to work up the courage to begin recording for almost a year before I actually released my first episode. I just talk about life, the various things I encounter and have experienced. I believe its part of my purpose to share what i’ve learned from my experiences. I know its not going to be for everybody and that’s ok. I know it will help someone and that’s enough for me. Aside from that, I am a creative. So what I mean is I do art, make music, craft, anything to bring my imagination to life. I enjoy writing, poetry, short stories, whatever my mind wants to explore in a moment. Art has especially been my ally. I enjoy listening to various frequencies, binaural beats, etc, and then drawing from the state of mind it puts me in. I also draw and bring inspiration from the frequent OBE’s that I still experience quite frequently. It’s fun to bring things to life that are difficult to explain or share with others sometimes. I think what sets me apart from others…hmm… probably my desire to love others and to become better. Not saying other people aren’t doing this, but I legitimately get up each and every day with the thought of how can I improve myself or spread encouragement and love to others. Spirituality is the main focus of my daily life, meditation, grounding in nature, it’s all a lifestyle really and I consider it to be just as important as breathing. The thing is, there’s infinite realities and truths that so many of us are entirely unaware of, myself included. I’ve discovered things and possibilities that I never would’ve thought were possible. Daily life can appear so mundane at times, but I promise you, this human experience is anything but average. I’m just doing my best to find the beauty and ebb and flow within this physical reality and existence. The universe is so vast and full of excitement and probability but I try to remind myself that I chose to be here and to have certain experiences so I have to stay balanced in the process.

my YouTube channel is : @TheEsotericNomad1121

We’d love to hear about how you think about risk taking?
I’ve definitely taken risks in life. I mean, what addict hasn’t lol. It’s not always been healthy risk so i’m not trying to glorify or make light of it, but I truly consider risk to be a necessary component of our existence. If we didn’t take risks, how would we really know our own limitations? The thing about risk is that, it’s not always going to result in the outcome we desire, and that doesn’t necessarily mean that we should stop taking risks. Nothing is going to work out 100 % of the time, and that’s ok. That’s how we learn. I think it’s important to stay mindful of what resonates within us in the most beneficial way. I just mean, I don’t think we should just be out here living recklessly and throwing caution to the wind at every turn. No, we have to use discretion and discernment, but we shouldn’t vilianize risk taking. I took a bet on my sobriety and it turned out to be the best risk I ever took. Not to say it’s been fabulous the entire way, but I don’t think having that expectation is realistic. I don’t believe it should be about avoiding pitfalls at any cost, but rather, how we navigate our own emotions and experiences as we encounter those rocky situations.

Contact Info:

• Facebook: facebook.com/Soultraveler1121
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2GxOx5L9yTgk4DF_pcHqjw 

Image Credits:
Micah Ingram