Conversations with Michael Wagner

Today we’d like to introduce you to Michael Wagner. 

Hi Michael, it’s an honor to have you on the platform. Thanks for taking the time to share your story with us – to start maybe you can share some of your backstories with our readers?
I moved out to Denver to get away from a hospital which was abusing me on a continuous basis. The abuse started when I was 11 and a half. In many ways the abuse is still happening.

My parents were hurting me for many years as well, before I got away from them. This included medical, spiritual, physical and sexual abuse. When I was 23, they tortured me for 4 days, when I was suffering from a herniated disc in my back. They withheld medical care for that duration. I was diagnosed with PTSD a year later and that is when I realized I needed to get away. I saw the pattern of abuse in my medical experiences and it scared me endlessly. I found safety in Denver CO, or so I thought.

When I turned 25, I entered into a guardianship which was planned by the abusive hospital. I was sent to work jobs while I was starved of my medications and put on ones I’m allergic to.

Learning Music – for me began from the age of 5, but it wasn’t until I went through a guardianship and conservatorship at 25 – that I decided to pursue music officially. I used the music and lyrics to win my freedom. I have won several other legal battles using music. From the guardianship, to psych holds. I’ve escaped a lot of difficult situations. It’s been worth it.
The abuse lasted up until I got on the right meds this year. Up until now, it’s been constant destabilization at the hands of my parents, and a few bad doctors in the system.

Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not, what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
It wasn’t an easy road. Many people hurt me along the way. It seemed in many ways as if life was me moving from one crisis to the next for a long time. There weren’t many safe people for me growing up. Seemingly everyone from my parents, to doctors and principals – they were all dangerous to me. They all saw fit to neglect me, abuse me, or enable abuse by third parties.

In addition, I’ve been in conversion therapy with dangerous therapists since I was 11, so even my supposed support system wasn’t supportive. It was actually incredibly dangerous. Instead of making my life better, they were abusing me. They were slowly driving me toward a suicide I refuse to follow through with. The therapists’ abuse of me included intellectual property theft at times, grooming at other points. It always included brainwashing to further disable me. They were basically tricking me into advising for them, for free, so they could turn around and make money – and they kept me sick while doing so. In moving out to Denver I finally found good care, and forward momentum in life.

The hospital kept my file for 14 years while the abuse continued from my parents, and then they hurt me more. Moving past that has been a daily struggle, but I’m getting by.

Appreciate you sharing that. What else should we know about what you do?
I guess I’d say I release music that centers on social struggles and the difficulties faced by the lgbtq community. In addition, I also like to write about struggles faced by survivors of abuse. These topics include things like conversion therapy, various types of abuse, as well as addiction. I talk about a lot of issues in my music that could be considered taboo. Currently – My aim is to get people talking about the harmful effects of conversion therapy, and the inflated suicide rate faced by conversion therapy patients. It is a silent massacre that bothers me daily.

What makes you happy?
Music and weed. If I have both of those things, I’m set. I have many fond memories from starting out in music, of late nights. I’d stay up

smoke some weed, get comfortable, and write. It was a lot of fun. I was in the guardianship at the time, but I’d stay up all night, with an ounce of cheap weed and a pack of smokes. I’d have an idea mapped out on my computer by the time the sun came up. I’d usually celebrate with a glass of wine on my patio.

Contact Info:

• Email: letterstoherband@gmail.com
• Website: SoundCloud.com/painwavesband
• Instagram: Instagram.com/painwavesband
• Facebook: Facebook.com/painwavesband
• Twitter: Twitter.com/painwavesband
• SoundCloud: SoundCloud.com/painwavesband

Image Credits:
Evan Schmidt