Conversations with Tabitha Benedict

Today we’d like to introduce you to Tabitha Benedict.

Hi Tabitha, thanks for joining us today. We’d love for you to start by introducing yourself.
A story that began in a little rural town in Upstate NY, here is a little briefing of how it all started. In 1981 at 7 years old. I was in the second grade completing my first life drawing of my hand holding a rose. Teachers were amazed at the accuracy and detail at such a young age. This drawing became the foundation of a life revolving around the arts.

Throughout high school, I was honored to receive many awards, scholarships, and prominent features in the local newspaper. One honorable award worth mentioning is the Congressional Artistic Discovery Award, awarded in 1992. To this day, each spring, the Congressional Institute sponsors a nationwide high school visual art competition to recognize and encourage artistic talent in the nation and in each congressional district.

Students submit entries to their representative’s office, and panels of district artists select the winning entries. Winners are recognized both in their district and at an annual awards ceremony in Washington, DC. The winning works are displayed for one year at the U.S. Capitol. I was the happy recipient two years in a row. A major accomplishment in my youth.

The writing was on the wall, the gift was in place, and opportunities lined up during and after high school. I was praised and encouraged, the caveat is I didn’t follow through, I didn’t take them. Why? That’s a good question. It’s because I didn’t believe in myself or my own voice, I became really good at abandoning my own desires, wishes, and dreams in order to please the likes of others. I never developed a strong sense of self, boundaries, or vision.

I unconsciously carried on karmic patterns engrained in my family system, playing out the destiny of the ones who came before me. I allowed opinions and societal standards to dictate my next move even though deep down inside I knew it wasn’t true for me. You see, I never gave myself a chance to develop a mind of my own. My feet were never rooted in the ground. My voice is no longer my own.

In 2017 the life I created began to unravel, something inside of me felt like the life I was living was no longer aligned with my highest good. Still attracting circumstances and people who competed with me rather than aligned with me. Toxic situations permeate my life. There was no one to blame but myself, I eventually learned to take responsibility for the choices I made, they were mine and mine alone.

What I attracted was just a mirror of what really lay beneath the surface. I failed to heed the warning signs in my own body. I didn’t even know how, my intuition was buried deep in the desert sand of thousands of years of primordial conditioning. This was the year I also discovered and created my first body of art using the ancient medium of Venetian Plaster. A medium used as far back as the Egyptian tombs and pyramids.

A medium that covered the walls of the Renaissance era with frescoes. My artwork began to teach me. It was through the creation of each piece I became introduced to spiritual verbiage and practices. Deities, spirit animals, and wisdom keepers emerged through the thin layers of plaster I intuitively laid upon the surface. It was like uncovering geological eras as images emerged from the surface.

My art began to create me, I no longer was creating my art. Crossed-over loved ones wanted a place, a face in the art I was creating, coming through to speak to their loved ones again. This is where I found my purpose, then it began again, the shadow of a doubt, I unconsciously shrank back to size, it was comfortable for me to stay small and hidden.

Who am I to have such abilities, what will people think of me? Being an artist already brings stigma, it screams crazy, over the top, and unconventional. But isn’t that exactly what it means to be an artist? The perfect excuse to be unapologetically yourself. Why couldn’t I break free from this burden?

This brings me to today to the present day, I have done a complete circle back to my roots. Unforeseen circumstances brought me back to where it all started. During the last 7 years, my body of artwork led me through my own spiritual awakening. Along this timeline, I also stumbled upon Family Constellations, also known as Systemic Constellations, a pseudoscientific therapeutic method that draws on elements of family systems, existential phenomenology, and Zulu beliefs and attitudes toward family.

German Psychologist Bert Hellinger became a pioneer of this work after he spent 16 years as a missionary with the Zulu culture. Bert Hellinger a wisdom teacher, mystic, priest, and author of 110 books formed the work into a separate modality using these very rich streams, naming it Family Constellations. Little by little I have been learning, studying, and practicing this work shattering the generational patterns and false adaptations I so inherently seemed to be chosen to break.

This work has saved my life, it has helped me awaken to what’s really going on behind the scenes and how we bring love back to ourselves and our family systems. Today I have been able to make amends with the judgments and beliefs of my parents and integrate all the knowledge I have learned from where it all began. I have taken the time out of a crazed world of constant action to get to know who my ancestors are so I can finally accept the place I grew up and the life I chose.

I can now give them a proper place in my life with respect and give back to them what is rightfully theirs. This opens a new pathway so I can rebuild my life from a place of detachment to any unnecessary and unhealthy old patterns and beliefs. Finally setting the boundaries I never learned, spoke my truth, and attracted a place of confidence.

Exactly one year ago today in the Spring of 2023, my life took a drastic turn from one choice, a choice made from haste, a decision made from fear. Blindsided once again by unconscious thought. A rude awakening to my unconscious patterns that still lay dormant waiting to once again be seen. Always running, running from the truth, tired, burnt out, confused, burdened, and afraid. Another karmic cycle only this time hitting rock bottom.

My belief is that hitting rock bottom isn’t a bad thing, it means that I have finally dug deep, deep enough so I can finally reach the core of what is the unconscious driving force behind all my decisions. A reminder that it takes time to unravel all the inherited trauma, see it for what it is. love and accept every decision ever made.

Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
The road has been far from smooth but I am grateful for the challenges. Without challenges, we can’t grow and new thought patterns can’t emerge. The waves are meant to be surfed not from perfection but from consistent practice and dedication.

The biggest struggle I faced was continuing my dream as an artist after my divorce in 2019. I am a mother of two beautiful daughters who mean the world to me and I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. Trying to maintain financial support solely and being an artist at the core of my being became my biggest struggle. A healthy household takes two healthy and whole individuals.

Sometimes it felt like a toss-up between my dream and motherhood, I had to be constantly and consistently working. I don’t think it’s possible to be both on your own. I was not only dealing with financial challenges but also dealing with the subconscious patterns of self-sabotage that would so inherently show up at the most inopportune times.

They began to run my life, I was in survival mode. There was a lot of sacrifice at play and something or someone always gets the short end of the stick and I became stretched too thin. I caved as the cost of living began to rise. Before my divorce I didn’t know what my intuition was, I had become so ingrained in people pleasing that I wasn’t living from a place inside my own body.

So when I walked out on my own it became a journey back to myself. To find the power that had always been there but buried in the rubble. It’s at our lowest lows we get to dig deep and rise from ashes. So today admitting all my mistakes and wins I am more balanced and versed in what this is really all about.

Thanks – so what else should our readers know about your work and what you’re currently focused on?
Amidst all my shortcomings I have also been very successful as an artist, developing and evolving a technique I can call my own. Becoming a mother and my work as an artist has been my biggest teacher. My work has evolved from a place of not knowing how to follow my own heart and intuition to specializing in creating one-of-a-kind masterpieces that are truly unique based on intuition alone.

My process begins without a plan as I apply thin layers of Veneziano or Marmorino Plaster with a variety of palette knives. Then magic happens, just like the quote from Michelangelo “I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free. Images begin to emerge on their own from the plaster or I integrate an image I already have in mind with a variety of mediums such as watercolors, pastels, earth pigments, acrylics, or oils. I am most proud of my piece “Thomas”.

The work of art created became a beautiful memorial for Thomas’s family. Georgia, Thomas’s sister approached me back in February of 2022. Thomas a compassionate loving brother unexpectedly passed away at 27 years old in October of 2021, he was a lover of lions and had a strong connection to them. He believed that when someone passed on they would become a part of a lion pride, so I had this amazing opportunity to create a one-of-a-kind work of art in honor of Thomas and his love for lions.

If you look closely into the eye of the lion you can see Thomas’s silhouette. My desire is to continue to create more of these memorable pieces for others who have lost loved ones. Together we can create a masterpiece, unique to you and connect you back to your loved one on the other side.

What sets me apart is my technique, it is very unique, whether it’s a loved one on the other side, deities, animal spirits, angelic figures, or mythological figures they are brought back to life through the ancient art of fresco.

Is there anything else you’d like to share with our readers?
I am in the process of rebuilding my life as an artist after what I call the most transformational year of my life, as we all know life is never linear, throughout all the trials and tribulations I have vowed not to throw in the towel.

If you are looking for soulful and authentic art to honor and cherish in your house, place of business, or sanctuary I was the top commissioned artist at my latest gallery in Boulder Colorado. Don’t hesitate to reach out, and ask questions. I love working with people one-on-one to create something that truly represents your vision.

My work has also been chosen for the Collectors Choice Award at Creative Framing in Louisville CO, Best of Show in Parker, CO, Artists in Recovery in Boulder, CO at the Dairy Center for the Arts, a public art Installation for Colorado’s Mental Health Hospital in Pueblo, CO, Colorados Recovery Card Project for Opioid Addiction and Colorados Reintroduction of Wolves Campaign.

Contact Info:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tabitha__benedict/