Exploring Life & Business with Tamara Pintily of The Unbothered Mind

Today we’d like to introduce you to Tamara Pintily

Tamara, we appreciate you taking the time to share your story with us today. Where does your story begin?
The first career I ever remember wanting was to be a relationship therapist. I was maybe 6 at the time. I told my mom this and she told me it was a bad idea as therapists usually have bad relationships because they are so focused on fixing other people’s problems that they don’t have time for their own problems. I then wanted to be an international businesswoman, then a lawyer, and finally went to college to be a doctor. While in school, I discovered that I actually hated college and did not want to go to medical school. I was a working student and had to work 3 jobs at one point just to stay afloat, so college was a stressful experience for me. Fast forward 3 majors later, I decided that I did want to be a therapist actually and thought that doing psychology would be best. I had a friend (shoutout to Carmen) introduce me to the social work degree and tell me about the Master of Social Work program that would enable me to get a license in clinical social work that would allow me to practice therapy independently without having to get a PhD. So, I began studying to be a social worker with the dream of becoming licensed one day to practice therapy.

Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
Wanting to get into a field that your culture does not typically believe in can have its challenges. I have obviously had to learn adaptive behaviors as I had found that I had a lot of maladaptive behaviors from learning to survive in traumatic and stressful situations. It was hard being poor without parental support in a school where you see Bentley’s in the parking garage. My freshman roommate didn’t have to work as her parents were able to support her and wanted her to focus on her education. Meanwhile, I had to work 3 jobs my first year just to be able to afford staying in my dorm since my financial aid didn’t cover everything. Thank God for my uncle, Alberto, for helping me with some of my dorm rent and my grandmother for giving me like $100 a month to help ease some of my burden. I literally would have had to drop out my first year if it wasn’t for their support. I struggled with my grades my first year and nearly failed most of my classes as I didn’t have much time to study or sleep in between my jobs. Eventually, I was able to move off campus to a cheaper apartment with a bunch of roommates and go down to working 2 jobs my second year. That allowed me to focus more on my studies and getting my grades up. By the time I entered my major during my junior year, I got the hang of working and going to school and began making the dean’s list.

Thanks – so what else should our readers know about The Unbothered Mind?
The Unbothered Mind is a therapy practice that aims to educate the Black and minority communities about mental health and make treatment accessible for those who want or need it. I just started growing my practice to being full-time for myself. Right now, I do see clients individually, but my goal is to transition to doing group therapy only. I want to make therapy something fun while also creating a sense of community for people. Group therapy is great in that people in the group are able to share experiences to realize that they aren’t alone in what they are struggling with as well as being able to teach and learn from other group members. A lot of our struggle with mental stress is that we feel embarrassed because we think we are the only one dealing with traumatic things, like intimate partner violence for example. Learning that you aren’t alone and what happened to you isn’t your fault can be helpful in combating survivor’s shame. I say survivor because once you are out of a situation, you are no longer a victim but now someone who has survived.

With individual therapy, I specialize in helping people deal with self-esteem issues resulting from trauma. It is my belief that your sense of self is like your mental health immune system. The weaker your sense of self is, the more like you are to be susceptible to symptoms of anxiety and depression as you are going to be seeking everyone else to tell you who you are. So, if someone tells you that you suck or you can’t do something, you are more likely to believe them than if your sense of self was strong. When you know who you are, you aren’t going to believe someone else when they try to tell you something different than what you already know. I teach people that they are the experts in their own lives, and they know themselves better than anyone else, so how dare they listen to someone with less knowledge try to teach them about topic of themself. Readers, don’t let people try to convince you they are the expert on you. So, if someone is trying to tell you that you’re ugly or stupid when you know that you aren’t, question them on what they did to get the credentials to become an expert on the subject of you. I tell my clients that while I may have more knowledge in the field of mental health, I cannot tell them what will work best for them or what they should or shouldn’t because only they will know that information as they are the expert on themselves. I can only help guide them to figuring that out. Outside of self-esteem, I am great about helping people dealing with anxiety, depression, trauma, ptsd, adhd, and borderline personality disorder. I am also a licensed addiction counselor.

What makes therapy different with me is that we will be laughing in most sessions. I use humor in my therapeutic approach, and I teach people to laugh at their past experiences. When we’re able to laugh at things, they feel less terrible to deal with.
And I am currently accepting new clients with Medicaid in Denver, Arapahoe, and Adams counties.

Networking and finding a mentor can have such a positive impact on one’s life and career. Any advice?
I think you have to get out there and talk to people. A closed mouth won’t get fed, meaning no one is going to know what you want or need if you aren’t making it known. I have been lucky to have found great mentors while training for my licenses through my various places of employment. Go to places or events that you’re curious about because you never know what could come from it. Take a support person if you’re nervous. Also, start small if it’s helpful. If you’re socially anxious, don’t force yourself in situations that reinforce an anxious or depressive thought pattern. Be helpful to yourself by exploring within parameters that feel safe and expanding from there. I also recommend different Facebook meetup groups, Eventbrite, as well as the MeetUp app.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.unbotheredmind.com
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/UnbotheredCoaching

Image Credits
Jennifer Holliday
Shalonda Palmer (STAR Girlz Empowerment)
Aruny Phanekham
Shelby Hoving Photography