Hidden Gems: Meet Melissa Graziano of The Lanterns’ Way: Counseling & Consulting

Today we’d like to introduce you to Melissa Graziano

Hi Melissa, thanks for sharing your story with us. To start, maybe you can tell our readers some of your backstory.
Ahhh, how I got started. Such a simple question and yet, it involves rewinding all the way back to the moment I took my first breath, and honestly, probably earlier dating to my conception. I was the result of two young teens in love and well, also having to utilize adoption services to adopt me out. Growing up, I was known for being “too sensitive” and was often picked on for crying “too much”. The story of being “too much” quickly became familiar. Some people could tolerate my big emotions, usually a best friend, or a partner, but usually most people did not know how to support me. I did not know how to support me. I felt lost.

Now I know, I was struggling to learn how to regulate my nervous system, thus, emotions. I had limited opportunities for co-regulation as an infant and growing up. After experiencing a hypoarousal shutdown at the group home awaiting my new parents, I am convinced I had swung the opposite direction while growing up with my family, moving into a constant state of hyperarousal. It also reflected in my school relationships. I grew up with a pit in my stomach of feeling like “I do not fit in” or “I am not good enough”.

These internal conflicts, rooted within my unhealed attachment trauma, influenced many of the challenges I encountered. Such as, struggling to have boundaries with others, lack of self-love, and constantly idealizing those around me. I abandoned myself at a young age, which would land me in a very scary situation of attempting to take my life when I was 16 years old. It was one of those situations that completely changed the course of my path.

While at the psychiatric rehabilitation, I had an amazing therapist who was extremely tuned into me and understanding of what I was conveying. I began to trust her, and we worked together to pinpoint what needed to change in my life and within my family. Although our time together was short, that therapist inspired me in a way I would never forget. I went on to dream of becoming a therapist one day. A few years later, I would find myself pursuing almost a decade of higher education in Psychology and Counseling.

Can you talk to us a bit about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way. Looking back would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
It has been anything but smooth. One thing I did not fully comprehend when I signed up to pursue my Psychology degree in undergrad was it would automatically mean I would inevitably have to attend graduate school. I already struggled with school, mainly because of my then, undiagnosed ADHD. I knew attending graduate school was going to take time, dedication, and money.

I began picking up undergraduate internships to be sure this truly was the line of work I craved, because I would often hear about the burnout rate in particular fields, such as, counseling. As someone who deeply feels the emotions of others, I knew I needed to have some control over my work environment.

I began to realize through my own personal work and therapy, that going into private practice was my ONLY option. A means to support others within my capacity and according to my own self-care needs. It would also allow me to continue stoking my creative side, which I knew would be crucial in protecting against burnout. Another reason, I had to “make it work” and found myself in a year-long, unpaid, internship in graduate school to build up to becoming established.

Appreciate you sharing that. What should we know about The Lanterns’ Way: Counseling & Consulting?
You may know, I am a Colorado-based trauma therapist and founder of The Lanterns’ Way: Counseling & Consulting, a busy private practice in Fort Collins. I specialize in working with trauma with all ages, as young as 3 years old. I primarily utilize EMDR, Somatic Experiencing®, Play Therapy, Polyvagal Theory, and Neuroscience. I like to incorporate many body-based and play approaches in the healing process depending on what each person is drawn to. I am popular in my community for my specialties as a Registered Play Therapist and EMDR therapist. I support a lot of youth and their families.

Currently, I am most proud of seeing all my hard work and our endless efforts beginning to come to fruition, as I have been building community for the last decade. My wife and I are actively working towards attaining land in Colorado for a healing retreat center. Our plan is to obtain acreage that can be split into sustainable retreat and residential buildings.

My family and I would help steward the land with other local healers who were vested in the project. From a DEI framework, the retreat center would focus on healing, transformative events, Psilocybin-Assisted Therapy, and ceremonies. Certainly, we are not the only ones planning similar retreat centers, and our hope is that there will be a community emergence in the coming years.

Risk taking is a topic that people have widely differing views on – we’d love to hear your thoughts.
Risk-taking is mandatory when being an entrepreneur and something we begin to think about early on when deciding to open a business. Sometimes entrepreneurs can get stuck in a rut out of habit/comfort, and there becomes a need to shake up our perspective. Like many professionals, I was searching for an outlet for creative expression to alleviate stress from my career. I had always been drawn to movement medicine and dance.

I was led to circus arts (flow, clowning, dance, hula-hoop) for deeper healing. I recently arrived back from a month-long, yearly, retreat in Nicaragua called Circus with Purpose. A transformative experience, as I evolved personally and professionally. It has been a risk to push back against what is considered traditional clinical mental health and support. I believe that moving towards integration of western and eastern techniques will continue to be invaluable, with offerings, like: breathwork, yoga, somatic workshops, and therapeutic circus.

These tough global times necessitate a call for humans to return to the basics- the body, the environment, living in community, and creativity being our teacher. This utopic-like vision beckons sparks of play, presence, and surrender. Truly, calling forth regulation in our collective nervous system.

Being a risk taker in the field of mental health, also means pushing back on the limited notions of healing, and begs the question, when was the last time you allowed yourself to play without an attachment to the outcome?

In this lifetime, my healing journeys often lead me back to play, like recently with circus arts. Play is something the entire world knows deeply and will often turn towards in hard times. It is quite literally hardwired into our biology and something we need to thrive throughout our entire lives. We saw this happening in Gaza when local circus schools were encouraging clowning and other creative expression in the streets, serving as an outlet for the community to cope from the impacts of war. Play is a form of resistance. It is something that cannot be taken away.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://lanternswaycounseling.com/
• Other: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/melissa-graziano-fort-collins-co/933114

Image Credits
Lizzie Rose Media @ https://www.lizzierosemedia.com/