We recently had the chance to connect with Tara McFarland and have shared our conversation below.
Tara, we’re thrilled to have you with us today. Before we jump into your intro and the heart of the interview, let’s start with a bit of an ice breaker: What is a normal day like for you right now?
My schedule fluctuates day to day, and most days look different at the moment. Typically, I try to get a workout or meditation in first thing in the morning, then depending on the day I may be networking, meeting a friend for coffee, or sitting down at my desk working at my part-time job in civil engineering. In the afternoons, I usually pick up my youngest son and take him to his theater rehearsal or pick up my oldest son from football practice. Between working part-time and running a business, I’m pulled in various directions and I’m lucky that my husband picks up a lot of household duties like getting the kids to school in the mornings and keeping track of their school calendars. It’s a juggling act, and sometimes daunting, but I like the variety, as long as I can keep my calendar straight!
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
I’m a Human Design Consultant, and Civil Engineer. If you don’t know what Human Design is, it’s a system based on several esoteric systems, namely astrology (Eastern & Western), The I’Ching 64 oracles, the concept of energy centers in the body, and the Kabbalah Tree of Life. You don’t find many engineers who have veered into the world of woo-woo energetics and astrology! I bridge the analytical with the woo and am a problem solver at heart. I help women explore spirituality through Human Design, turning burnout and frustration with their careers into a path forward that leaves them feeling calm and in control.
When I burned out of my job in 2018, I was just beginning what was a powerful spiritual awakening, and I was skeptical of what was happening. All my career I had checked all the boxes and climbed the career ladder pushing myself through exhaustion to the point of collapse. While I had had nudges from my intuition all along the way, it took a career failure and admitting that I couldn’t do it all to shift directions. Jumping off the career ladder to explore what I love and how I want to help others was the best decision I ever made. I’ve found that working part-time, not chasing clout or promotions has been far more rewarding. Without knowing my Human Design (3/5 Mental Projector), I would’ve healed from burnout then jumped right back into the fray only to burnout again. Learning to tune into my intuition and exploring the bigger picture through the lens of energetics and spirituality has been a game changer in how I see success. Success isn’t measure by how far up the corporate ladder you get, it’s measured by how you feel about the work you do.
Amazing, so let’s take a moment to go back in time. What was your earliest memory of feeling powerful?
Up until the age of eighteen, I was a ballet dancer. Being on the stage was my happy place; where I felt alive and connected and I could be me. I don’t think I can pin down a moment where I first felt powerful because I always felt powerful when I was dancing. I couldn’t wait for the next opportunity to perform, and as I grew older and more serious in my teens, I began to notice the compliments I received for my performances.
A turning point was when I performed Dying Swan solo, choreographed for Anna Pavolva by Michael Fokine. While it was later in my dancing career, the performance of that piece was one of the few times when I knew something special had happened. The solo isn’t easy to perform, and I worked long hours to master the gliding bourrées across the floor, mimicking a swan swimming across the water. As I glided across the floor to the quiet music, I became aware that something felt different in that performance. The audience faded and all I heard was the music. I wasn’t thinking about the next move, I was being the swan. It’s difficult to put into words how I felt that day – it was as if I was transported somewhere else. When the music faded at the end and I became aware of my surroundings, the venue was dead silent. That had never happened before, and I wasn’t sure the audience liked the performance! Afterward, people were sharing with me how much the performance moved them, even admitting that they cried.
It was probably the most powerful I ever felt as a dancer, and the performance was in a middle school gym! At the time, I didn’t realize that it was gift of the heart to be able to perform and hold the attention of an audience like that. Now I see it as an example of what can happen when people let others into their inner world, even if only for a few minutes.
What fear has held you back the most in your life?
As a recovering perfectionist (are we ever recovered?), the biggest fear I’ve had throughout my life has been that I’ll make a mistake. In Human Design, one of my profile lines is a 3. The profile lines are kind of your character throughout life, and the 3-line is all about experiential learning and exploring. Basically, people with this energy in their chart learn by doing, and with that comes a lot of what feels like failure. Learning that part of my chart was a catalyst to relaxing into experimenting and accepting that I’m constantly learning what works and what doesn’t.
We all make mistakes, and learn from them, it’s not just people with the 3-line who experience that energy. What I found for me personally, is that having the 3-line prominent in my chart helped me to change how I saw perfectionism. Perfectionism is a cage, and it held me back. When I was struggling in my career in 2018, perfectionism was the constant inner critic as I struggled to manage a diverse team on a large high-profile project. I went to work every day fearing what I’d screw up next and was constantly trying to figure out how I was supposed to act (which mask I needed to put on) so that I could feel successful.
It wasn’t until I hit the wall of burnout and began the process of healing from it using therapy and finding a shamanic energy healing practitioner that I realized how much fear had driven my career.
I’m not driven by fear when it comes to what I want to accomplish anymore. I have tools I use to calm down my nervous system when I feel like I’ve made a mistake and take a bigger picture perspective. Most of the time, whatever I felt was a mistake, isn’t a big deal.
Next, maybe we can discuss some of your foundational philosophies and views? Is the public version of you the real you?
The short answer is yes, now it is. It wasn’t always that way as I spent a great deal of energy trying to fit into a box. I’ve been in the engineering field for about 28 years, and the messaging was always that I could be outspoken, but only in the right way, or I could be direct, but not too direct. It’s not just me who experiences this; it’s pretty much every person who becomes an engineer who doesn’t fit a certain mold. Thankfully, that’s changing, and I see a lot more self-expression, especially among recent graduates than I did 20 years ago.
Now that I have quite a bit of life experience, (and therapy!), I care a whole lot less about what people think of me. I’ll still get moments in meetings when my inner critic shouts “You shouldn’t have said that!”, and I can quiet that inner critic down now. It’s been freeing as I own more of my interest in spirituality, energetics and Human Design. For a while, it felt like I had to hide all of that from people in my industry, and the more I share it, the more I’m finding other people like me.
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned and one I hope is being instilled in my children is that the people who are attracted to us because of who we are rather than what we can do, are the people who really see us. While there’s a time and place for certain behaviors and expression, for the most part I think we would be better off in society if less people felt like they had to don a mask that isn’t genuine in order to be accepted.
Okay, so before we go, let’s tackle one more area. What are you doing today that won’t pay off for 7–10 years?
I don’t know if it’ll take 7-10 years; hopefully not that long! I’ve learned over the last few years of launching a business and finding my way to clarity that building a successful and sustainable business takes a significant amount of time. Some people seem to have the ability to launch and be successful almost immediately, but for me it’s been a lot of experimentation, deep inner work and acceptance that it might take a little while for the energy to catch up.
I’m not exactly a patient person – I like to get things done, especially when I see its potential. However, I also believe that things happen in their own time for a reason. Practicing patience and embracing where the process takes me, rather than trying to get to the end goal, has been an important, if challenging lesson.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.taramcfarland.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taramcfarland111
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/taramcfarland111
- Other: Substack: https://taram111.substack.com
