Meet Suzanne Hagmaier

Today, we’d like to introduce you to Suzanne Hagmaier.

Hi Suzanne, I’m so excited to have you on the platform. So, before we get into questions about your work life, maybe you can bring our readers up to speed with your story and how you got to where you are today.
How many of you have been affected by cancer, whether it’s a family member, a friend, a spouse, or maybe even yourself? Many people have been unfortunate enough to be affected by cancer in one way or another. 

I have been touched twice myself… lucky me! 

In March of 2008, I received the shocking and terrifying news that I had Stage III breast cancer. Upon hearing the doctors say the words no one ever wants to hear, the only thought I had was how I would ever have enough time to deal with this. After recently being remarried on July 7, 2007 (7-7-7-Vegas Baby!), I was dealing with the everyday tasks and challenges that come with taking care of three teenagers, as I am sure everyone can imagine. 

Considering all of this, I decided to go ahead and get everything done as fast as possible. I didn’t want my kids to see me sick and weak. 23 hours in the hospital after bilateral mastectomy with immediate reconstruction; however, it didn’t feel like this was really my life. It felt as though all of this was happening to somebody else, and I was just observing. I just wanted my life to go back to normal. I knew one thing for certain… I was not going to carry these drains to my daughter’s upcoming graduation. They wouldn’t have matched my outfit. Eventually, my life went back to normal. 

Fast forward three years to July 2011, I found a lump in my neck. I am once again hearing the doctor tell me that I have cancer, but this time was different. The cancer had metastasized, and they were unable to get clean margins. The surgeon then told me I was in Stage IV and that I was not a candidate for chemo or radiation. This is when I assumed it was the end of the road for me. As if telling my kids that I had cancer the first time wasn’t hard enough, this time I had to prepare them for the idea that I may not be there to see them grow up, to graduate college, to get married. 

Luckily, my husband, being the analytical person that he is, thank God, was determined that this was not the end and that there had to be something we could do. After talking to my Oncologist, she said there is a very small chance, but you will have to fight with everything you have… can you do that? 16 weeks of chemo followed by 25 rounds of radiation. 

On the last day of my chemo treatments, I met a woman named Theresa. She had just begun her treatments, and I noticed she was there all by herself. This absolutely broke my heart. No one should ever have to go through this alone. I told her that even though my treatments were done, I would come to support her throughout her treatments. Naturally, we bonded and became extremely close friends, cancer sisters, you might say. 

I met other cancer sisters while attending Theresa’s treatments, and I continued going back for two years. Initially, I thought I was doing this for myself, somehow continuing to fight my cancer even though my chemo was finished; however, I never realized how big of an impact I would have on others going through similar experiences. Little did I know, but I had become a beacon of hope for these women. They saw me go through chemo and radiation, and they saw my hair begin to grow back. By talking about and sharing my own cancer journey with them, they were able to see the light at the end of a dark, lonely tunnel. 

In April of 2015, my cancer sisters and I came across Hope Held by a Horse, a FREE program offered to breast cancer survivors. It seemed like a fun idea, so I decided to go for them, not for me. I had never even heard of equine therapy before, and I had barely any experience with horses. When the event started, each participant was paired with a coach. A massive horse was in the arena with us. The horse was not altered, so she could be wherever she wanted. Horses are very intuitive and can sense heartbeats from 60 feet away. 

When the lead facilitator told the participants to close their eyes and focus on themselves, I immediately began weeping. I was so focused on other people that I didn’t even realize how much this whole process affected me. As I was crying, the horse came to me from across the arena, lowered her head, and gently pressed her nose into my chest. This was a sign of honor and support from the horse. I felt safe and sturdy with her by my side. I felt a sense of calmness, and most importantly, I felt at peace. It almost felt like the horse was a vessel for me to store all of my pain. The horse would process all of these emotions, and she would let them all go for me. 

I finally realized that I had survived cancer twice, and that was a miracle in and of itself. My husband noticed something new in me. He saw the sparkle back in my eyes and a newfound passion for life. Naturally, I did what any normal person would do… I started training for a triathlon. I completed my first triathlon that following August. My husband even bought me my first horse after seeing how much they helped me, and he didn’t stop at once. I now have five extremely large draft horses! Go big or go home, right? 

Breast cancer takes so much from a person. It rips away your confidence, it changes your appearance and your strength, and it leaves you feeling lonely and doubtful. Hope held by a Horse gave me back my spirit, my joy for life, and my humor. Like the horses, I now strive to live every moment in the present and with intention. I even decided to become an Equine Gestalt Coach myself, and I now run this amazing organization. 

I believe 100% I am where I am supposed to be doing what I love. Hope Held by a Horse has helped more than 350 women regain control of their lives. It helped them feel empowered and strong, and it allowed them to view themselves as more than their cancer. I know that I would not be the woman I am today if it wasn’t for Hope Held by a Horse and the magical and enlightening experience I had there. 

In 2019, I became the President/Executive Director of Hope Held by a Horse. I am so honored to serve others during their cancer journey. Through the power and assistance of the horses, I am blessed to witness other cancer survivors finding their new normal. 

Can you talk to us about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned? Looking back, would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
There is nothing to be learned by smooth roads. Through life’s challenges, we learn and grow. I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

There were many challenges through cancer. I’m trying so hard to keep life as normal as possible for my kids. In some strange way, I have always felt that breast cancer was kind of a blessing in disguise. I’ve met incredible people along the way and found my purpose. 

Can you tell our readers more about what you do and what you think sets you apart from others?
I am the President/Executive Director of a national organization, Hope Held by a Horse. Our program is offered FREE to cancer survivors. Our headquarters is located in Parker, Colorado. We also offer programs in Maryland, Texas, and Connecticut. Hope Held by a Horse provides emotional support to cancer survivors at any stage of diagnosis through equine-assisted therapy. 

We offer a program in which you will have the opportunity to experience the magic of horses and their natural ability to help us heal. Experience a greater awareness and mindfulness through a process of transformation that explores your thoughts and feelings in a non-threatening, non-judgmental, and supportive environment. 

Is there any advice you’d like to share with our readers who might just be starting?
Do your homework and spend the time researching your thoughts/ideas. Be sure to have diversity on your board. 

Contact Info:

• Website: hopeheldbyahorse.org
• Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/hopeheldbyahorse
• Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/hopeheldbyahorse
• Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/hopeheldbyhorse
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@hopeheldbyahorse1779