Alyssa Ruffin on Life, Lessons & Legacy

We recently had the chance to connect with Alyssa Ruffin and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Alyssa , thank you so much for taking time out of your busy day to share your story, experiences and insights with our readers. Let’s jump right in with an interesting one: Have any recent moments made you laugh or feel proud?
I recently won Social Impact Song of the Year at the Josie Music Awards held at the legendary Grand Ole Opry in Nashville, Tennessee. I stepped into the iconic circle where so many great musicians have stood, so many of my musical inspirations. I took my daughter Aurelia who is an up-and-coming recording artist on stage with me. As I was standing there in the circle sharing my acceptance speech, thanking God, my beautiful children, family and friends, and dedicating the award to all service men and women, veterans, military spouses, I felt an overwhelming amount of joy.

I was so proud of myself. I wish my mama was there with me. My mom, Mickaela Lynn was also a singer-songwriter, recording artist, and performer. She always took me on stage with her. I sang with so many of her bands, she even took me in the recording studio with her in Nashville when I was 12 years old. I got to do harmony and background vocals on some of the songs she was recording. She passed away this year in May, and standing in that circle at the Grand Ole Opry accepting an award for a song that I wrote with my little girl standing next to me, it’s a moment I will never forget for so many reasons. I hope she’s proud of me. I know I am so proud of myself. I have worked so hard. I feel truly blessed, honored, and humbled.

Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
My name is Alyssa Ruffin. I am an international multi-award-winning recording artist, singer-songwriter, and performer. I am a mom, and a proud military wife. I’ve been married to my husband for going on 17 years this coming July, we have 3 girls together, I have two older children, and we have two children we are in the process of adopting. I am passionate about my children, my music, and being a military spouse. I’m also passionate about advocating for difficult topics including mental health, suicide, sexual assault, domestic violence, homelessness, equality, and more. I use my platform to raise awareness and support various organizations dedicated to helping individuals who face these types of challenges. My music plays a huge part in my own personal journey and healing, and hopefully provides a little hope and healing for others.

Thanks for sharing that. Would love to go back in time and hear about how your past might have impacted who you are today. What relationship most shaped how you see yourself?
My mother was my first influence and my first relationship. She was my very best friend my entire life. She taught me to sing. She taught me to be different, and to shine my light always. She taught me to be brave, to be bold, to be fierce, and to stand up for myself and others. She taught me to be resilient. She taught me the definition of hard work, perseverance, and determination by simply applying herself one hundred percent to everything she did. She taught me what it meant to be an independent woman. A fighter. A survivor. A battle warrior.

My relationship with husband also plays a huge roll. We met in 2006 when I was in an abusive and extremely toxic relationship. He was a good and honest friend to me through it all. Though he didn’t know the truth about what really took place behind closed doors, he was there for me without judgement when so many others were quick to turn their backs because I stuck it out for so long. At the time, he didn’t know how impactful and meaningful his friendship was to me. I was at my lowest of lows in those moments. He never deserted me. He was kind, compassionate, he listened and he encouraged me to get out of the situation. I never told him about the physical abuse, only about the cheating, verbal abuse and mistreatment. Though we did go on a date in 2007 (a story for. another time), we didn’t begin dating until 2009.

We stayed friends. He deployed to afghanistan in 2008. We kept in touch while he was overseas. I finally left my ex the end of December 2008 and moved out just after New Years 2009. I ran into my husband when he got home from afghanistan and we have been inseparable ever since (minus military duty). We have been happily married for nearly 17 years. I was broken and bruised, beaten down mentally, emotionally, and physically. I was a hot dumpster fire of a mess. He picked up the broken pieces and helped me create a beautiful masterpiece with them. He encourages me to go after every dream, to go on every adventure, and explore every creative idea I have not just musically but also in life. He restored my faith in humanity, and taught me to love myself. I still have a lot of work to do but his love and friendship has given me the freedom to be my genuine self and see who I really am.

I used to see myself as someone who was poor, who came from a broken home, who was bullied, abused and assaulted. A victim of circumstances. I felt weak, and wanted to hide from the world. Today, I see myself as a fierce warrior woman! Someone rallies to give others a voice. I see myself as a helper, a nurturer, and a friend to all. I see myself as a safe space for those in need.

When did you stop hiding your pain and start using it as power?
Little by little over the years since 2009 I slowly began to stop hiding my pain. I began speaking out privately about the trauma I endured throughout my childhood, and young adult life. However, I believe that 2020 was the year that everything changed. I slowly started to tell the world about my past.

I talk about this a lot as it was a very impactful moment for me. In 2021 I released my first single about surviving sexual abuse. I was experiencing so much anxiety surrounding this song, I immediately had to go back into therapy leading up to the release date and for several weeks post release. I was terrified that people were going to know the truth. Though that song was inspired by a poem written by a female military veteran, it was very much my truth and my story. I had booked myself a ton of interviews for promotional marketing as this was my first single, and I had so many panic attacks before the first few interviews.

My therapist gave me some coping tools to help me through those moments. After the third or fourth interview, something shifted in me. I began wanting to shout it out to the world. I wanted to share more and more. I wanted to help others find their voice. I felt liberated, free, and so completely powerful. I felt truly invincible! The more I shared, the more free I became. Something unlocked and I went from hiding my deepest darkest secrets, to sharing them all. I wanted to talk about everything, and I wanted to help everyone who had ever been through what I had. From childhood sexual abuse, being sexually assaulted as a young adult/teen, to suicide, mental health, domestic violence, homelessness, and being a woman in the workplace. I wanted to help everyone and advocate for the very topics that I had experienced in my life.

My husband wanted to help Military veterans and servicemen & women who suffer from PTSD and Mental health challenges. We wanted to intertwine our careers to help others, and we came up with the name “Music & The Mission”. We sort of started in California in 2020 with the idea of giving away a guitar and guitar lessons to help a veteran with PTSD. We are working on launching our podcast “Music & The Mission” to give folks a platform to share their story. Whether you’re a military member, veteran, musician, doctor or hairdresser. If you are a human being wanting to share your voice and share your story with the world, we want to help. Eventually, we would like to start a 501c nonprofit in the future but for now, we want to provide a platform for others in hopes of spreading love, hope, and healing through the creative arts.

I also began writing my songs to align with some of my stories. The trauma and pain I’ve endured. The haters and naysayers. In addition to all of the past trauma, I’ve lost both of my parents. I lost my dad to cancer in 20218 and I recently lost my mom this year to Congestive Heart Failure. Music is therapeutic and it has gotten me through the most difficult moments in life. I want to continue that feeling of hope and maybe provide a little healing through my gift of song. Writing is healing for me, recording in the studio, being on stage, listening to music is healing, and sharing with others too. If my songs can reach one person, that’s a win!

Additionally, I have faced a lot of challenges in the music industry as an independent artist, and more so as a female in the music industry. After leaving my distribution deal with a Sony Orchard label, my husband and I launched our label Highway 83 Records. For now, I am using it to distribute my music. Eventually, we want to help educate artists on how to be a successful independent artist through my trials and tribulations.

Sure, so let’s go deeper into your values and how you think. What would your closest friends say really matters to you?
I believe everyone who genuinely knows me, knows that God and family are what are most important to me. They would probably say being a good mother to my children, making sure I show up for them. I attend every school event, concert, and assembly. They would say I prioritize my family over my career because those close to me know that my music often takes a back seat because I am so hands on. They would say I strive to be a good military wife, and that I show up for my husband and his very demanding career, and everything that entails. They would probably also say that I am sometimes a single mom due to my husband serving active duty in the military and that I have very little time to focus on myself or my music. They would say I am a kind and compassionate person, that I would give the shirt off of my back to help someone else, and that I am a loyal friend, and reliable to those in need. They would probably say, I am a safe haven for others, and that I bend over backwards to help everyone including strangers. They would say I love with my whole heart, and that I wear mine on my sleeve. They would also say “I don’t know how she does it”. I hear that so often.

Having a social life is non existent at this point. Thankfully, the few friends that I do have understand this and they don’t fault me for being a busy mom, or a good mom, or for being a dedicated wife. They know the little time I do have for myself I spend working very hard to achieve my musical goals. They know that I will always be there for them, and that I will make time to get together when the opportunity arises. Most of them are pretty good at making plans that include hanging out with me and my children because they really are my whole world.

Okay, so let’s keep going with one more question that means a lot to us: Are you doing what you were born to do—or what you were told to do?
I am doing what I was born to do. Music is my destiny. I am a passionate person no matter what I am pursuing but I know that music is my calling. I tried doing regular jobs and other creative jobs. I’ve been a Photographer, Hairdresser, Bridal Consultant, Wedding/Special Event Stylist, Event Planner, DJ, Karaoke Host, Retail Manager, Receptionist, Hotel Clerk, Fieldmarketer, etc. I have always come back to music. It’s where I belong. I am a creative person but music is where my heart is. I am looking to expand into music more by learning audio engineering/music production, and eventually cinematography.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://WWW.ALYSSARUFFIN.COM
• Instagram: @alyssaruffinmusic
• Linkedin: @alyssaruffin
• Twitter: @alyssaruffin
• Facebook: https://facebook.com/AlyssaRuffinMusic
• Youtube: @alyssaruffin
• Other: https://linktree.com/alyssaruffin

Image Credits
Aaron Shriver
Calbren Media
Aurelia Ruffin
Rylee Austin
Khloe Grace