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Conversations with the Inspiring Gina Heumann

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Today we’d like to introduce you to Gina Heumann.

So, before we jump into specific questions about the business, why don’t you give us some details about you and your story.
My husband and I adopted two boys from Guatemala, and suspect my youngest was neglected by his foster mom before we got him. At six months, he already came to us with anger and anxiety, along with a difficult relationship with food. As he got older, he grew difficult and violent. We spent over a decade trying various treatments and chasing down a diagnosis. He was misdiagnosed with all kinds of things: ADHD, Bipolar, Sensory Processing Disorder, ODD, etc. and given a plethora of medications, which never helped. We didn’t get his correct diagnosis of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) until he was almost 10. We hit rock bottom in 6th grade, when he was dragged to the juvenile assessment center in handcuffs for assaulting a teacher, had to appear in court and received a summer of community service and a year of probation at the ripe old age of 12.

Around that time, we found a therapeutic school environment and an amazing therapist who specializes in family intensive therapy for kids with RAD. Although we didn’t see results right away, he improved over the course of a couple of years and is now doing fantastic! He is in a regular high school, plays in six different bands has a big group of friends, decent grades, and is no longer on ANY medications! We are thrilled to have a success story and want to share in order to help others and build awareness of this rare and serious mental illness.

Has it been a smooth road?
Oh my goodness, NO! My son was extremely violent and the slightest thing (like not replaying a song on the radio or hearing the word “no”) was enough to escalate his anger. He destroyed thousands of dollars of property, including TVs, computers, lamps, the car windshield… you name it. He punched me in the head one night while I was sound asleep and told me he wanted to kill me. He pulled a knife on me and his brother. We lived in fear of our own child.

In addition, we lived in judgment every single day, from teachers, doctors, strangers, friends, and even family. Everyone wanted to teach us how to discipline our child, but nobody seemed to notice that the OTHER kid was well-behaved and doing well. It wasn’t a parenting problem and no sticker chart was going to resolve it!

My advice would be to insist on a thorough diagnosis, seek out therapies and treatments, and trust your gut. Also, find an internet support group and possibly a live in-person group of other parents dealing with challenging children so you can vent to people who understand and also see what is working for others. Educate the schools to be trauma-informed. And never give up on your kid. EVERY kid has the capacity to do well, but trauma kids need intensive healing along the way. It cannot be done with love alone.

What do you do, what do you specialize in, what are you known for, etc. What are you most proud of? What sets you apart from others?
I’m relatively new at this, but once we had a success story, I was on a mission to share it and help others. My book, Love Never Quits came out this summer and I’m working now to spread the word through podcasts, articles, blogging, and speaking. I am training adoptive parents and CASA volunteers on this disorder and showing them what to look for and how to seek help. From what I have seen, success stories in RAD kids are few and far between, so I’m eager to offer hope and inspiration to exhausted parents. I’m also hoping to help push for better mental health coverage for adopted and foster kids and let society know how it affects them. Some simple early interventions could prevent lots of wasted tax dollars for law enforcement, lost time in the classrooms, and prevent these kids from living a life of crime.

Do you have a lesson or advice you’d like to share with young women just starting out?
Be adaptable! In my journey to raise a child with reactive attachment disorder, I lost countless jobs due to having to leave to pick up my kid at school, either for bad behavior or anxiety-induced illnesses. I had to learn to be flexible and scrappy, taking on jobs I could work from home or start my own businesses that could help me provide for my family on my schedule. Because of how difficult it was to raise my child, I became really good at managing my time and working when it was convenient. I also went back to online school for a second Master’s degree when my kids were in elementary school. Not every job is a 9-5, and some of us need to be creative to adapt to our crazy schedules.

I’d also love to add that it’s never too late! I wrote my first book just before I turned 50, and this major career change and life transformation is just what I needed to help me live my life purpose. Don’t feel like you’re stuck in the same career for your entire life if it’s not lighting you up inside!

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Gina Heumann Book Launch Love Never Quits

Image Credit:
Silver Sparrow Photography

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