Conversations with the Inspiring Sarah Monares

Today we’d like to introduce you to Sarah Monares.

Sarah, let’s start with your story. We’d love to hear how you got started and how the journey has been so far.
This is a big question. I struggle a bit with where to start because I believe our story starts from the day we are born. I’m a pretty big believer that when we are born, we are sure of who we are and what we are here to create and do, it’s all the things that happen along the way, especially early in life, that get us off track. As children, we don’t have a lot of choice as to how our story begins. We are born into our story and for many years, we go along with what is given to us and believe the things we are taught and told. Some people live their whole lives this way, others get to a point where they realize that they have the power to pick up the pen and start writing their own story. The way that they want it to go. This is what happened to me.

As a young child, I experienced many things I didn’t have control over. Different kinds of abuse and trauma created the feeling in me that I was powerless. I was to be seen and not heard. To be quiet and happy and nothing else. I went along with the norms in my environment for a long time. Conforming and trying very hard to fit into a beige-colored box. Yet, I knew deep within myself that I didn’t fit there. There were so many pieces of me I was denying and quieting. As a grew older, I began to buck the system. Although I did it in a way that was damaging to myself, I didn’t know of any other way. I was very self-destructive through alcohol and seeking unhealthy relationships, while still maintaining a beautiful and perfect exterior. I lead an inner life and an outer life that were completely inconsistent with each other. I was ruled by anxiety and fear. My biggest concern was pleasing others and being worthy in their eyes. I was a people pleaser to my core, and it was killing me inside. There were a series of what I call “wake up moments” in my life that lead to my understanding that I had power over my own life.

One of the most pivotal periods for me was when I decided to go to graduate school and become a counselor. This is when I began to dive into the world of healing and personal growth and development. This was huge! I went to school to learn how to help other people, and I really learned how to also help myself. After I graduated, I worked in agencies for a couple of years. Then, I decided I really wanted the freedom of my own practice. In 2009, I opened my practice, and over the years, it grew to become a thriving group practice with multiple therapists. The thing is, it wasn’t fulfilling, and I knew within myself that I wasn’t where I was supposed to be. I wasn’t happy. I was really stressed all the time and I was living the life I thought I was “supposed” to live. Again, inconsistency between my inner and outer selves. My inner self said, “write!” I was supposed to create, tell my story, be vulnerable, put myself out there. I didn’t do it for a really long time because I was way too afraid. I let fear rule my life and made sure to take the safest path. The one that least rocked the boat. I was “successful,” but I was comfortable and not where I was meant to be.

In 2014, my brother died in a car accident. This shook me deeply. It makes me sad to think that too often for many of us, it takes a terrible wakeup call to step outside of our comfort zone. Losing my brother so unexpectedly made me look at life completely differently. I realized we never really know how much longer we have, and I vowed that I would make my mark. I would do the things I had known I needed to do for so long. I would finally listen.
I scaled down my counseling practice and lessened my responsibilities in that area. Sometimes, we must go what looks like backwards to move forward in a way that’s aligned with our true selves. I started doing Facebook lives and began writing. One little step at a time, I pushed through the fear and started to truly create the life I know I was meant to live. I had to learn to listen to myself, to speak up, to be brave, and to allow myself to be vulnerable. What came out of that was the understanding that I really wanted to work with women. To empower them to move forward in their lives as their TRUE selves. So often, women are stuck in many areas of their lives because they are living by other people’s expectations for them or they create their own unattainable standards that they will never live up to. I saw countless women do this in the therapy office and wanted to reach women on a larger scale. The truth is, most of us struggle with very similar things. We think we are alone in our struggles, but we aren’t. I wanted to create a community for women to be able to grow and connect with other women. A place for them to be empowered and uncover who they truly are. So, I created The We Spot. I am now managing that community, seeing clients for counseling, coaching individually, and writing. I am a blogger and have finished my first book, which will be coming out within the next month! My inner and outer worlds are aligned, and I love helping other women live the same way.

Great, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
No worthy road is ever smooth. The right road is usually the bumpiest and has the most curves. It’s the road that we are meant to go down. The one that will teach us the most and get us closer to who we truly are. Then, to learn to fight for who we are and what we truly want. I have had so many struggles along the way. So many things I’ve had to dive into and do the workaround so I could keep moving forward. One of the biggest barriers for me has always been expecting perfection. So, when things didn’t go smoothly or how they were planned, I allowed it to completely throw me off and send me into a tailspin. For a long time, I allowed my emotions to rule and would easily get sucked into the vortex that anxiety, worry, and fear can create. Those were my go-to ways to “make sure” everything went the way I wanted it to. I can tell you, it’s a terrible and very unpeaceful way to live. Sometimes, things happen that are totally outside of our control. Big huge bumps like the death of a loved one, the ending of a relationship, a business decision that didn’t work out, are chapters in each of our stories. Just know that no matter how hard it gets; your purpose never goes away. You have to keep fighting for it. Don’t give up.

Another important piece of advice would be to learn to listen to yourself. You already have all the answers, skills, and tools you need inside of you. Learn to be still long enough to hear the answers. Learn to trust yourself. No matter what is going on around you, you can depend on yourself to show up. It’s impossible to plan everything out and have it always go according to plan. Trust that when things get off course, you will know how to respond, readjust, and keep moving forward. Do the work to grow where you need to grow and be humble enough to ask for help along the way.

Please tell us more about your work, what you are currently focused on and most proud of.
In my work, I wear many different hats. However, I specialize in providing growth opportunities to women. Chances for women to have the “wake up moments” in their own lives. The ones that help them to understand that they are powerful and absolutely not alone in the things they struggle with. I am the Owner and Founder of The We Spot which houses a podcast (The We Podcast), Blog (The We Spot Blog), and Northern Colorado growth meet up (We Are Women Rising). The blog features my own articles, as well as twenty other contributing writers who write about all different topics that relate to women. I deeply value the power of vulnerability and being able to be open and honest about our stories. Each of these platforms provides a space for women to speak their authentic truth and for readers/listeners to gain power from their experiences and understand that they are not alone. It is a community of growth that is truly turning into something amazing. What sets us apart, is encouraging women to take off the masks and show up exactly where they are. To come together and empower one another to choose growth over comfort and an authentic life over the beige-colored box.

Also, in August, my first book is scheduled to launch! I am very excited and scared at the same time. The title hasn’t been shared publicly yet, but I’d love to have you join me over on social media (I’m very active on Facebook) to see what’s to come with the book and so you can grab your copy when it’s released! Also, join us on all of our other platforms, we would love to have you!

Who do you look up to? How have they inspired you?
Ooh, I love this question. Some of the amazing women I look up to for their work and their amazing contribution to this world are people like Oprah, Brené Brown, Maya Angelou, Glennon Doyle, and many more. But aside from the women who have big platforms to share their amazing truths, I think the women who inspire me most are the ladies in my life every day. The amazing friends I have who have always had my back and encouraged me to share my voice. The women who I connect with every day on social media who are putting themselves out there. My clients who are so freaking brave and working so hard to build the life they dream of. The women who have been guests on my podcast or who dare to write vulnerable articles and put themselves out there, despite their own fear. They inspire me so much. I get to coordinate all these amazing things, but it’s really me that reaps the biggest benefit of being able to be surrounded by such brave and authentic women!

Contact Info:

• Website: www.thewespot.com
• Email: sarahjmonares@gmail.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarah_monares/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sarahjmonares1/
• Other: https://www.facebook.com/thewespot/

Image Credit:
Molly Stevens with For The West and Wild Photography, Kirsten D’Onofrio with Lincoln and Roost

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