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Conversations with the Inspiring Taylor Rose Spaziani

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Today we’d like to introduce you to Taylor Rose Spaziani.

So, before we jump into specific questions about what you do, why don’t you give us some details about you and your story.
Hello, 🙂 I’m a 22-year-old Italian-American, grad-student, & cat-mom. I pay my bills through four different jobs being a pizza waitress, executive assistant for a sex therapist in her private practice and her organization the Sexual Health Alliance, and also a teaching assistant for two human sexuality classes. I am born & raised in beautiful Colorado and grew up with more privilege than I’d sometimes like to admit. Although I came from a home with a steady income, a solid support system and one that benefits from white privilege, I also learned from a young age how to use that privilege to stand up for those who don’t. My dad always taught me to work for what I want, and understand that I can’t simply be awarded things on a silver platter for my existence. My dad always taught me to open my heart to those who are suffering and extend my empathy in significant ways. Although I am privileged, I didn’t always have it easy.

From a young age, I was aware of significant issues that loved ones and society faces – issues like poverty, drug & alcohol addiction, and overall social injustice. This framework is what helped me develop the thinking and empathetic mind that I have today, one that I use to be all-encompassing in my hunger for human connection. When I say human connection, I really mean all living things. I have a passionate heart for being one with my living brothers & sisters & other identities on planet earth; humans, animals, insects, and all that nature is made up of. I’ve used this ultimate truth of love and passion to ground the work I want to drive my career in. My people are my world, and they’re all beautifully displayed in the hallway of my home to keep my heart full of love and light. Leading with kindness and compassion, during my undergraduate degree I studied an intense framework of social justice and learned how to apply it to any helping profession.

Today, I am a graduate student in couples & family counseling track in downtown Denver, designing my career to become a certified sex therapist and sexuality professional. I am passionate about my studies in sexuality because of the way it reminds me of true diversity and authenticity within individuals. I’ve come to learn that I can’t check a box when it comes to who I love and how I love them, because I can find a treasure within every gender, race, ability, social class, & every unique body. My love has no limits. I knew I wanted to be a sex therapist since I was in the 5th grade, and I never let that dream fall short, no matter how many people stood in my way and told me I’d never make it. So many people have told me that my ideas are illegitimate, taboo, or “just a phase.” One of the life mottos that I’ve always lived by is “embrace your weirdness,” because I’ve always enjoyed and admired watching others live their truths and live in authenticity. We live in a cut & paste society, one where the world expects us to look and act like each other. I’ve always found this to be unethical in a way because striving to look like one another just takes the meaning and excitement out of life. Diversity is what makes us intriguing. This cut and paste society makes me sad because I’ve seen people who stray from the social norm by being themselves and end up being harassed, bullied, or shunned simply for their authenticity. There is nothing more courageous someone could do than break away from these societal pressures and free themselves of who everyone else wants them to be.

Studying sexuality reminds me of the purity, treasure, and uniqueness that each individual holds within themselves & my goal & my fight is to help others remove the stigma and shame from living an authentic life. People tell me, “you’re never going to make any money doing what you love,” “your dream is just a phase” or “find something you love to do as your hobby, but something practical to do for a living,” and I will never listen. Following this dream of mine is marking my place in the world and pushing me to live and thrive in my hunger for human connection. Yes, right now I’m a broke 22-year old grad student with four jobs, and yes, I am tired, but damn I am living fearlessly, whole-heartedly and authentically.

Overall, has it been relatively smooth? If not, what were some of the struggles along the way?
Absolutely not. Becoming a sexuality professional is a coming-out experience. The field of sexuality for some reason is seen as taboo, and it took a lot of bravery and courage to own my passion and explain why it is important. When I tell people my passion, I typically get responses like, “Oh wow, you must be a freak,” or “Oh, so you study sexuality, want to jump in bed with me?” I have received comments from my family and peers along the lines of, “that’s not a real profession, you’re just experiencing intense hormones,” or I have been shut down multiple times in conversation and completely shied away due to their discomfort in the subject. In general, for other women and particularly young women who are just starting their journey, I want you to know that being who you are is admirable. Studying sexuality doesn’t make you a “freak” or “easy” to jump in bed with. It doesn’t make you a hidden taboo to not be shown to the world. Doing what you want and what you’re passionate about, no matter the money, success or societal stigma that follows makes you an incredible, authentic, and brave individual. Live your truth, follow your heart, take care of each other, love your people and embrace your weirdness. My fight is your fight, and I promise that together we will make it.

What do you do, what do you specialize in, what are you known for, etc. What are you most proud of? What sets you apart from others?
Well, I currently have four jobs that all come together to make me into the person I am today. I am a pizza waitress and bartender for cash and a fun social environment, a teaching assistant for two of my university’s undergraduate department courses in Human Sexuality, and my boss’s executive assistant for her private practice Respark Therapy, and her organization The Sexual Health Alliance. Driving my career in human sexuality, The Sexual Health Alliance (SHA) has been absolutely life-changing for my personhood and my professional development. At SHA, we promote an integrated, interdisciplinary approach to sexuality with the goal of fostering cooperation and dialogue among diverse professionals. We foster provocative dialogue and radical collaboration among sexual health providers, general helping professionals, anyone who may talk with their clients about sexuality-related issues, and passionate advocates through tours on our signature lecture series, round table forums, educational workshops, and fun events like Sex Nerd Trivia. We provide the highest quality of training in sexuality from the world’s experts while providing a community for sex-positive professionals to learn from one another locally. We are radical, we are progressive, and we are the future for certified sex therapists and sex educators.

For good reason, society often focuses more on the problems rather than the opportunities that exist, because the problems need to be solved. However, we’d probably also benefit from looking for and recognizing the opportunities that women are better positioned to capitalize on. Have you discovered such opportunities?
There are TONS of opportunities that women are particularly well-positioned for. Through technology, we are all so connected to one another across the globe at the push of a button. How you use technology and social media is up to you. It can be used for negativity and create significant challenges, or it can be used to spread the mental wealth, kindness, encouragement, and promote yourself in ways past generations haven’t been able to. In the past, typically people would have to spend big bucks to advertise and market themselves and their brand for whatever market they’re in, and today you can do this at home, in your pajamas with your device in hand. An example that comes to mind is for those who are mothers and are working multiple jobs to help sustain their family’s financial capital, they can side hustle their work on their own without spending significant amounts of money and time to do so. Another example like this is seen in “Instagram models,” – girls who post pictures of themselves on the beach or in stylish clothes and make money doing so. Some people shed hate on these kinds of people, but I’m saying “work it, girl.”

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Image Credit:
Colton Uland, Sexual Health Alliance, Zane Murray

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