Conversations with the Inspiring Xanthe Alexis

Today we’d like to introduce you to Xanthe Alexis.

Xanthe, can you briefly walk us through your story – how you started and how you got to where you are today.
I was raised by a single mother of five children. My father was absent due to alcoholism and mental illness. When I was very young, we moved from my Mother’s place of origin in Denver, CO to a small town in Michigan. We were very different, my Mom is Greek/French Native American and she was one of the only non-white people in our town. I remember from very early on how people treated us differently. Looked down on us. We were poor but my Mother took great care in making sure we had what we needed, she kept herself in college while raising us and has two Masters degrees. I think education was her outlet for the constriction of our small town and the judgmental eyes.

There was always music and creativity in our home. My brothers and sisters and I would make up plays and songs and my Mom studied Scenic Design and had a dance studio that my Father made in our garage before he left. I took his leaving very hard and didn’t understand until much later in life that his choice to leave was the most honorable thing he could do due to his illness and dysfunction. On his good days, he was a wonderfully whimsical Man and left a chasm of grief across our family in the wake of his absence. I soothed myself with my imagination and would wander the woods in the outskirts of our town alone, making little songs, writing my Father poems, talking to the trees and nature things. My Mother recognized my artist heart and put me in Theater (I was too undisciplined for dance). There, I found my love for performance and an escape from the pain of my home life.

In my early teens, my Mother finally saved enough to move us back to Colorado. This place was like an oasis to me. Different types of people, people like me. Creative people, open-minded. I have no doubt she knew this move would be a saving grace for all of us. When I was 17, I enrolled in the University of Colorado and knew immediately that it wasn’t the right fit. I dropped out and got a backpack and walked (and sometimes greyhounded) cross country with a man I had fallen in love with. By 19, I was pregnant. At 20, my youngest sister had become very ill due to a heart defect she was born with. We lost her when my son was three months old. My Mother was working towards a doctorate in Psychology at the time. She found Craniosacral Therapy as a way to relieve her immobilizing grief and because of her results changed her studies and became certified as a Therapist. I had already begun writing music and performing and years later, after a very painful marriage to a traveling musician and the birth of my second child, I joined my Mother in the study of Natural Healing and together we opened Manitou Wellness Center.

My life now is a balance of these two career paths as a Healer and a Professional Musician.

Great, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
I think one of the hardest things for me was an acceptance that the white picket fence life was an illusion for most. I think because of my childhood in a small town where people really didn’t draw outside of the lines very often, I clung to the idea that there was value in “getting it right” and finding a husband and all of that old idealistic stuff. The truth was, although it may be right for some, it wasn’t right for me. I wanted to travel and see the world. I wanted to try on different hats and see what fit. There is so much pressure for women to perform well as Mothers, as career Women. Our value is based on how well we can make it look effortless. But it’s not effortless. It’s very hard to balance. Let alone find time for inner reflection, friendships, we end up feeling like we are always falling short. That is why Indigenous cultures would share the load, Mothers would be together, support one another, elders would share their wisdom. We have a real crisis of isolation in our culture. People suffering alone. I see it so much in my practice.

So, one of the things I really teach, especially when working with mothers as a Doula, and the thing that is the most transformational in my own life, is to seek out a community of women friends. I find so much comfort, so much feedback and inspiration from these connections. Especially now, when Single Motherhood is often more common than a two-parent home. We need each other. But it’s up to us to deglamorize the fixation on perfection. To have real conversations about how lonely Motherhood/Womanhood can be, how exhausting. This is a wonderful time to be a Woman. We are afforded so many privileges that out Mothers did not have, but we still have lots of work to do and to me, most of it is about coming back to community and acceptance in our relationships to other Women. We heal that, we heal so much.

Please tell us more about what you do, what you are currently focused on and most proud of.
I am a Singer/Songwriter, I have toured nationally and internationally and released my first solo album in 2017. My eldest was in his senior year of High School and we were experiencing a lot of changes in our family so I canceled the touring I had planned in support of that album. To my shock and amazement, the album went on to spend six months on the top 20 charts for Alternative Folk and was in the top 200 for Folk albums for 2017. I have recently completed a second album and have toured pretty heavily this year already, even got to take my youngest to New York City! He is a musician and performed on the very famous stage at The Cutting Room in NYC in January! I did a two-week residency at a place called The Mothership in New York in June. It was one of the highlights of my career as an artist. My sons live with me full time so to have that much time to dedicate to my craft was a huge gift.

I am also a Healer and my family owns a Wellness Center here in Colorado Springs. There I am a Somatic Trauma Resolution Therapist and I do an Eastern Manual Modality, I am also a Doula and attend a small handful of births a year. On any given day, I am seeing people who are healing from pre and post-surgery, working on issues with depression and anxiety, pain management, all sorts of things. I think what sets me apart is that my life is about Service to the Heart, to the call for our world to be more nurturing, more gentle. I think my education in the Healing Arts bleeds into the music and vice versa. I used to be very private about my life as a Musician at the Clinic but it’s becoming harder and harder to keep them separate. My clients know I am brave and get out there and do my dream and I think it inspires them too.

For good reason, society often focuses more on the problems rather than the opportunities that exist, because the problems need to be solved. However, we’d probably also benefit from looking for and recognizing the opportunities that women are better positioned to capitalize on. Have you discovered such opportunities?
Women are wired for emotional intelligence. We have monthly cycles that keep us connected to our bodies. We sacrifice as Mothers, we are thinking of the seven generations who will come after us. Our world has swung so heavily to the side of the industry, material gain, progress. I think we are starving for a return to the quality of life.
But our country has some real reprioritizing to do around how we live. Women returning to work 6 weeks after giving birth, they don’t separate puppies from their mothers that early! Still, we accept it. This country has one of the highest mortality rates for women giving birth in hospitals. Its easier to get an assault rifle in this country than it is to get an abortion. But, Women are the center of the home. The backbone of the family. We are positioned now to use our voices in ways we have never had before. It’s going to be messy for a while but it is so worth it. We are worth it. Our wisdom is worth it.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.xanthealexis.com www.manitouwellness.com
• Email: xanthealexis@gmail.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/xanthealexis/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/xanthealexismusic/

Image Credit:
Dennis Nejtek, Robert Grey, Mathew Chmielarczyk, Luigi Scorcia

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