Life and Work with Tiffany Kwak

Today we’d like to introduce you to Tiffany Kwak.

Tiffany, can you briefly walk us through your story – how you started and how you got to where you are today.
I am a wife and a Mama to two of the coolest humans on the planet. I feel like my story really starts with them.

My husband & I met in 8th grade and have been together ever since… over 20 years! After getting married, we spent five long years hoping to get pregnant. We eventually came to terms with possibly not ever getting the chance to be parents. That’s when our miracle came. We found out we were pregnant!

My pregnancy was amazing. I loved everything about it. For the first time in my life, I felt secure in who I was. I loved and had an appreciation for plus size body that I had never had before.

On January 2, 2014, I gave birth to our daughter. I labored at home most of the day and felt very strong instincts to just listen to my body throughout it all. At the hospital, we had the most incredibly supportive nurse. She never left my side. She patiently walked me through labor and encouraged me to trust my body. She brought peace and calm to our birth space that I’ll never forget. After I gave birth to our daughter, I was even more in love with my body and what it had done. And, I was super grateful for the nurse who helped me see that. Looking back, I now know that she was like a Doula for me long before I actually knew what that meant.

I spent the next couple of years obsessed with learning all I could about birth & breastfeeding. I completely immersed myself in the awesome birth community that Denver has. I started going to a New Mom/Breastfeeding support group when my daughter was six weeks old and was changed for the better there. I felt like I was home and like I was finding my new self. And, I learned what a community and support could do for a new Mama. A passion started growing and my purpose started to become clear.

Two years after our first was born, I gave birth to our second baby. On March 26, 2016, our son was born. I had him at a free-standing birth center and felt even closer to my passion for birth. I was supported and encouraged and heard and respected. And, no one told me I couldn’t because of the size of my body.

Although birth went really well, I found myself at home with an inconsolable baby. It felt like nothing I did brought him comfort. At his 2-month checkup, we learned that he wasn’t gaining weight. We were exclusively breastfeeding and I felt defeated. We started going back to our favorite support group and still couldn’t pinpoint why he wasn’t gaining. I was making enough milk, he wasn’t transferring a ton, but the latch was good. Eventually, he was checked for a tongue tie by a pediatric dentist and we learned that he not only had a pretty bad tongue tie but also needed his lip tie and cheeks revised. Nursing became better after his procedure, but he still wasn’t gaining.

We then had months of doctor’s visits due to weight gain issues. There were blood draws and trips to the children’s hospital. I was breastfeeding, immediately pumping and spoon-feeding him what I had just pumped. I was waking him several times a night to feed and to pump. I was determined to do it all myself, never asking for help or taking the time to care for myself. I was in survival mode and sinking fast. I was also caring for our energetic two year old and constantly stressed about life in general. I felt overwhelmed and like I was not enough constantly. I was exhausted and constantly anxious. The days were long and depression started showing up.

It took me over a year to admit to myself and to my husband that I thought I was suffering from Postpartum Depression & Anxiety. Once I said it out loud the clouds started to disappear. We worked better as a team. I began setting boundaries, asking for help, practicing self-care, and discovering my limits. I started using essential oils and taking supplements and eating better. I slowly started rebuilding myself. I am still very much learning and rebuilding myself. Disclaimer: I just want to shout out to the people who also choose medicine and counseling for postpartum mood disorders. I truly believe that this road is different for everyone. The methods I chose are things that over time have had positive impacts on my depression and anxiety, but I also have an appreciation for routes like medicine & therapy.

Our son began to do better too! We had a lactation consultant and a pediatrician that encouraged me to trust my body every step of the way. We ended up being able to nurse until he weaned himself just after his 2nd birthday. I’m so glad we never gave up, but could never have done it without help.

At that point, I still had a deep love for pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding and through my own experience, I started developing a passion for Mamas during the postpartum period too.

In February of this year, I finally went for it and received my certification as a Birth & Postpartum Doula!

I have been building a business for a while now that helps supports Mamas and their families throughout all parts of this messy, magical, overwhelming, sacred and beautiful path into parenthood, but have really committed to it this year. I feel very aligned in my work and grateful to the families who trust me to be apart of their story.

Overall, has it been relatively smooth? If not, what were some of the struggles along the way?
Really none of it has been a smooth road. I’ve started and stopped and questioned my every move. I’ve compared, which is one of my biggest weaknesses in life. I’ve convinced myself that I’m not enough. I thought for a long time that I first had to have it all together myself before I could help support others. The truth is, we’ll never have it all together. We are all always works in progress.

Building your own business is a lot like parenthood in that it will bring things about you to the surface that need healing. Sometimes it looks like huge roadblocks that make you want to give up altogether, but on the other side of those “roadblocks” will always be a more healed you. You will find yourself closer to your vision and purpose.

Building your own business requires you to actually do the work in yourself too. Personal growth and development have become a foundation for what I’m building.

It’s so much easier to go back to the typical 9-5 job with consistency. It’s much easier to settle, but my heart wouldn’t allow it. The impact I hope to make is much greater than the fears and comparisons that have held me back. I think when you realize the deeply rooted truth behind why you’re doing it, you’ll never be able to go back to the safety of a “normal” job.

We have struggled and still do from time to time, financially. We have had to make huge sacrifices. I have been so close more times than I can count to just giving up and going back to the life of working for someone. This road has been so difficult, but the reward in doing what brings me joy and the reward in helping a family during their most difficult transition and the excitement that my kids have because ‘Mommy helps people” and the realization that I am doing what I was put here to do, far outweigh it all.

Please tell us about Mindful Mama Birth + Wellness.
My work is so many things and is always evolving and expanding and I love that.

I get to help Mamas and their families as they transition into parenthood, either for the first time or not. I provide unconditional, non-judgmental support from pregnancy to birth to parenthood and all things in between. As a doula and an educator, I help women thrive through education and physical & emotional support.

I’ve also found a deep love for serious self-care, healing, holistic wellness, gentle parenting and mindfulness through affirmations, meditation, yoga and essential oils. I love to share all of that any time I can. I love to incorporate a holistic, mind, body and soul approach to my birth, postpartum and parenthood work.

The things is, I sound like a complete hippie. I sound like someone I never thought I’d be. Motherhood changed me and shifted my priorities, as it does. I’m not an all or nothing Mama. There is never judgment from me in another family’s choices either. You have to do what’s right for YOU! But, I do provide evidence-based information to hopefully help them make informed decisions. I used to be so overwhelmed with it all and felt like there was always some level of shame if you weren’t doing it all “right”. I want to help remove that.

During pregnancy, I work with families to provide that evidence-based education needed to have YOUR best birth experience. I am also a shoulder to lean on and that unbiased person that they can voice their fears too. I help partners feel supported in being there for Mama. I help prepare them for what life will really look like after the baby is here. I give recommendations for comfort for physical & emotional stuff that comes up during pregnancy. I help set you up to rock your birth and mentally prepare for it. I share what birth might look like and how to navigate it all. I help build families up and discover their power within themselves.

During birth, I am able to be there as hands on support. I am there to remind the partner of how capable they are of supporting Mama during labor & birth. I am a familiar face in the room. I am there encouraging and reminding Mama how capable she is and how she was made for this. I am there to hold space and witness the most amazing miracles. I am there to do practical stuff like make sure everyone is fed and hydrated. I am there to remove the fear of a sometimes overwhelming event. I am there to interpret things that may be hard to understand. I am there to help and hug and massage and lean on and sit back and watch the power of a Mama.

I can also work in families’ homes after the baby has arrived to support them in transitioning into their new normal. This can look like birth processing, cooking meals, doing laundry, grocery shopping, holding the baby while Mom or Dad showers or gets out of the house or naps. I can help with hands-on stuff like diaper changes, swaddling, bathing, feeding, and comforting. I help families feel confident in doing those things and caring for baby too.
I am in their home to also help on an emotional level. Becoming or growing a family is a huge deal. I am there to hold that space and help process it all.

I think as a society we rush families, especially Mothers to return to “normal” after the baby is born. There is so much healing, emotionally & physically, to be done. I want to provide families with realistic expectations and ways to care for and heal themselves. The thing is, we don’t do it alone. We all desperately need a tribe.

I am always finding new ways to empower and support women, in pregnancy, birth, motherhood and beyond. I am an educator and a helper at heart. I have ideas of workshops and courses and support circles and community spaces to make this all more accessible too. I am also currently certifying as a New Parent Educator and will be able to provide more newborn care and 4th-trimester education through classes and courses that I can’t wait to develop.

All of my offerings can be utilized as entire packages or pieced together to fit a family’s needs.

My bigger dream is to create a collective space for healing and wellness and education to serve people in all parts of their life journey. I have an amazing best friend who does healing and body work and has visions similar to mine. We hope to reach people through classes and yoga and massage and energy work and consultations and plant based remedies and just so many good things. It’s still a work in progress, but we are hoping to create that space together and are starting to move in that direction. It’s very exciting!

I also work part-time at the most amazing parenthood retail store/support community, The Mama’hood in Denver. I am surrounded by the most incredible women and Mamas there. I am inspired every single day and owe so much to them. I work at the front desk and help run the Preferred Doula events. I love connecting with Doulas and meeting families that way

I also recently joined the team of doulas at AlloTribe. I was trained and certified by their agency. The ladies of AlloTribe are unlike any other and I am so grateful to know them.

Ultimately, I want families to know that they have choices in every part of this parenthood thing. Trust your instincts, do the research, say yes to help, don’t stay stuck for too long, and normalize the real parts of all of it.

Were there people and/or experiences you had in your childhood that you feel laid the foundation for your success?
I think I had to work through my own anxieties and insecurities that often come with childhood to realize my strength. I spent so much of my life over-analyzing everything and so unsure of myself. I was always afraid to take risks and felt I had to “play by the rules”. I was too busy worrying about what other people thought and lost myself in the process. I compared myself all the time but wanted to ultimately be unique and different. I was convinced that I wasn’t creative and so badly wanted to be.

I think those experiences have not only made me stronger but allowed me the perspective to help other people feel more sure of themselves and their choices, especially in parenthood. I’m still working on it, but I have more of an unapologetic attitude about who I am and the decisions I make. I am learning a more secure & creative version of myself and love it.

Contact Info:

• Phone: 7203800396
• Email: mindfulmamahealing@gmail.com
• Instagram: mindfulmamabirthwell , @essentialmamawellness

Image Credit:
Alex Hearn Photography

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