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Meet Beth Erlander of Grief Freak in Boulder

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Today we’d like to introduce you to Beth Erlander.

Beth, please share your story with us. How did you get to where you are today?
As the Grief Freak… I got started when my life went upside down and I found myself navigating sudden loss and trauma. In August of 2012, my life partner crashed his mountain bike and broke his neck. The result was quadriplegia or being paralyzed from the chest down. We were in the ICU for 45 days and then three months at Craig Hospital in Denver, Colorado. A little voice told me then, “Pay attention to this-it may come in handy someday.” And that was so true as my practice now helps others deal with sudden loss and my time navigating the medical system does come in handy.

My specialty now is grief and how to befriend it. I call myself the Grief Freak for a few reasons-we live in a culture that is freaky about grief AND the word “freak” to me also implies someone who is obsessed about something. And for me that something is grief relief for myself and for others. I was actually inspired to call myself the Grief Freak because of one of my favorite songs by Michael Franti. In this song, “Stay Human,” the chorus sings: “All the freaky people make the beauty of the world.” And that is what I strive to do-get people to see the beauty of their life, even in the aftermath of grief and loss.

My partner’s accident thrust me into the bowels of grief and I learned about grief from the inside out. I know what it is like to have your entire life course change direction in one split second. Because of this, I am passionate about helping others to navigate grief. Before this, I had been doing private practice as a creative arts psychotherapist and was wanting to focus on working with families doing art and play therapy. I received my master’s degree in Art Therapy from the Naropa University in 2000. So I have been practicing as a therapist since then. I did my internship at a hospice but it wasn’t until I had my own awful experience of grief that I really got it.

And for me, in order to process my grief, I had to use out of the box methods in order to reconcile or make my life good again. I found my grief mentors, I did grief rituals with Dagara elder Sobonfu Somé, and I walked part of the Camino in France and Spain. I also did my own EMDR (a trauma protocol: eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) and was so amazed by it I had to learn how to use it with my own clients.

I am also certified as a Creative Grief Support Practitioner, where I mainly support my clients to navigate grief using a co-creative therapeutic relationship. I use the power of the natural world, the use of ritual and the creative arts to create a one of a kind healing container so that my clients can feel the joy of life again. Grief is a joy hijack, but it doesn’t need to be.

At the end of 2019, I created a DIY Online Grief Relief program that I hope will be of service as we continue to navigate the losses we are all dealing with to varying degrees with the pandemic, the economic struggles and the dismantling of racism. We have a lot to grieve. We cannot do this alone.

Also, at the start of quarantine (mid-March 2020), I began to offer online grief rituals. I do this twice a month now-one as a Facebook live event and the other is through Zoom and is donation based. These are offered as a way to continue to move both the personal and collective grief at this time. These rituals combine body-centered practices with singing and chanting, devotional time, and a time to allow grief to simply exist in your body. And when we do this in the context of community, healing happens and the grief is able to shift. I will continue to offer these online until we can gather again in the near future. We must learn how to grieve… as I believe there will be more of it.

Great, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
Has it been a smooth road? Absolutely not! My main struggle was to allow myself to be apprenticed to grief from my partner’s accident. Looking back, I was amazed at what I was able to do that first week during the accident. He fell on a Monday night and I was seeing clients that Thursday! I had to maintain my own shock and trauma in a way so I could also tend to my client’s needs.

I felt like superwoman. I was learning how to track my own nervous system so that I could still be of service to others. I had help too. I needed help financially and I also needed help with managing his medical needs. His family came out to live with me and us as we started a new life with quadriplegia. My family also stepped up to help me too. It wasn’t easy at all and I am currently writing a book about our experience and how I came out the other side stronger and how it helped me to find my passion of helping others to be with grief.

Please tell us more about your work, what you are currently focused on and most proud of.
Well, it is grief. All types of grief. Grief is a funny thing as you can all be in the private club suddenly, but then within that, there are subgroups. I would say my main area of expertise is losing a partner’s able body to a sudden change due to an accident or illness. But I also work with those who are grieving the loss of someone to death.

I would say though that I specialize in non-death related losses and those are many-divorce, separation, loss of identity, job loss, loss from having a mental illness, loss from chronic illness, loss from dealing with abuse, loss of direction, loss of family that isn’t death related-strained relationships, etc.

Is there a characteristic or quality that you feel is essential to success?
I would say the main thing is being an entrepreneur even during the worst of times. I am able to think creatively even when life gives me a truckload of lemons. I mean, who thinks about paying attention while navigating a medical crisis? I do.

 Pricing:

  • I offer a sliding scale from $110-149.

Contact Info:

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