Meet Trailblazer Charaia Callabrass

Today we’d like to introduce you to Charaia Callabrass.

Charaia, please share your story with us. How did you get to where you are today?
I think the best way to start my story is the day that I came home and told my mom I wanted to straighten my hair. To some, I’m sure you’re reading that thinking, “okay girl just straighten it.” But what I was asking my mother that day was the chance to become less me; less black. The kinky curls of my hair texture led to ridicule from my white classmates and for me, liberation came through changing who I was.

After years of permed hair and burned scars on my scalp, I came to grips with the truth that the liberation I was seeking would not come from becoming less of who I was but by becoming all of who I was. It wasn’t until I became a mom that I looked at my brown skin as acceptable – as beautiful.

So much of my start is centered around this journey of identity. And so much of what I do is centered around helping my son and future kids start that journey of identity. It’s exciting to be in a time where blackness is fluid and non-binary. When I was growing up, being black looked one specific way. I can’t speak to where I am today, without acknowledging the changes in the black community that have allowed me to express myself, and my blackness, however I want. 

Has it been a smooth road?
I remember growing up, my father always told me that I would have to work twice as hard. One because I’m a woman and, two, because I’m a woman of color. I’ve spent so much of life-fighting this stigma attached to being a black woman. Because of that, I think my biggest struggle has been the internalized beliefs that have kept me from finding my voice.

As women, there isn’t always a seat at the table for us. My advice for young women starting their journey is to show up. Confidence isn’t just about showing up, it’s about believing that you belong in any space that you walk into. In so many ways, we as women, are wired to believe that if our presence causes discomfort, we should apologize. My hope for young women is that they refuse to sacrifice the dignity of their voice for the comfort of another.

What do you do? What do you specialize in?
I’m currently hosting a podcast called Unbow Your Head. After watching the film adaptation of James Baldwin’s 1974 novel, If Beal Street Could Talk, the phrase “unbow your head” really resonated with me. I spent so much of my life bowing to the standards, ideologies, expectations established by people who did not relate to my story. I created this podcast as more of a space for people who long to find a connection to find just that. There’s an unspoken story of black faces in white spaces that I believe deserve to be told. Whether I’m telling stories of working while black or listing the things you just shouldn’t say to your black friend, my desire is to curate a safe place. A safe place for those like me to relate and also a safe place for those who aren’t like me to learn.

I think what makes me different is that while I want to “enlighten” or share my experiences, my ultimate goal is not to make it a comfortable journey. While my podcast offers a seat for my white peers, that seat is one where they listen. The seats for those who speak are reserved for the marginalized, the oppressed, and the under-presented. And I think in the context of where I live, that’s what makes my platform so different.

Finding a mentor and building a network are often cited in studies as a major factor impacting one’s success. Do you have any advice or lessons to share regarding finding a mentor or networking in general?
Our culture is very much fueled by competition and there is this fear that if someone else is winning, it threatens my ability to win. And that mindset keeps us from reaching out and finding a mentor. I’m a firm believer in always reaching down, out, and up. When we reach down, we are finding someone who is just starting out in an area that we have become an expert in. Reaching out is the idea of collaboration with someone who’s at your skill level but offers a different perspective. And reaching up is finding that mentor who can refine your ideas with their wisdom and experience.

It’s a detriment to the soul of our work when we believe that it shouldn’t be touched by anyone else. There’s a richness in connecting and learning from the failure and success of those around us. I also think that that in a culture of authenticity, people are able to detect when someone is reaching out only with them in mind. I’ve had to learn (the hard way) that asking someone to “show you the ropes” or give you advice must never come before relationship. There is a ego-centric way about our culture that makes networking all about us. In a sense it is, but in the greater sense it’s not. The purpose of networking is in the simple truth that, we need one another. And that greatness and success are mutually exclusive to relationships. 

Contact Info:

• Website: unbowyourheadpodcast
• Instagram: @unbowyourhead//@charaiacallabrass

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