Meet Trailblazer Monica Hawkins-Gilbert

Today we’d like to introduce you to Monica Hawkins-Gilbert.

On the early Pittsburgh morning of May 6, 2012, Monica Hawkins received the news that no parent wants to hear – her youngest son, Donté, had been shot. With her older son by her side, Monica rushed to the chaotic crime scene that was filled with police officers, ambulances, and family members.

From behind the yellow tape where a body lay, Monica screamed out to God for mercy on her son’s life. But the detective delivered the unthinkable news regarding the shooting victim: “It’s your son, Ms. Hawkins.”

Prior to this day, Monica had been no stranger to a shattered life of extreme difficulty with having endured childhood sexual abuse and an abusive marriage that almost killed her; but now she would have to rely on her faith and others to survive a shattered heart.

In her memoir, A Shattered Heart: A Journey of Hope, Trust, and Healing (WestBow Press, 2014), Monica Hawkins shares her difficult and emotional journey through unspeakable grief, healing, and eventually discovering the strength to love again.

In A Shattered Heart, Monica details her life after her heart shatters; including the urge to push away her loved ones, learning to relinquish vengeance against her son’s killer, helping her older son grieve, and find the courage to start over by pursuing a ministry as a counselor helping others through life’s difficulties.

“There were moments when I doubted God and was angry with Him, but I still trusted and believed in Him. I learned that God is not saying that we won’t grieve, but rather that we still have Him with us as we grieve,” says Monica. “Grief is something that you don’t get over, but you can learn how to live through it by trusting God.” Monica’s vulnerability, honesty and comforting words, drawn from her talks with God and her support system, provide guidance to anyone who has had a life-shattering experience; helping them take the first steps to finding that “new normal” after tragedy.

Overall, has it been relatively smooth? If not, what were some of the struggles along the way?
It has been a journey to finding my new normal. The one thing about grief is that many people don’t understand the process of grieving has an impact on individuals the physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, I would advise the women who are starting this journey to not navigate this alone. Seek someone who can help you process the grief.

It is important to identify your triggers and have a plan in place for what you are going to do when you do get triggered. Having an increased self-awareness of this will help you manage the waves of emotions that will come and go through in healing from the trauma.

“I am accepting the fact that I lost my son and that I will always miss him and love him. My loss will always be a part of my new normal, but I no longer ponder the question ‘Where are You, God?’ My prayer remains, ‘God, help me through the grieving because I trust you,’” says Monica. “I may weep for a night, but I now am comforted that my joy will come in the morning if I continue to trust and believe in God and His promises.”

Please tell us about A Shattered Heart: A Journey of Hope Trust and Healing (Book Title).
I wear many hats, but with everything I do, I really love people. I have a gift and a desire to help people become the person they are designed to be. The thing is when trauma hits if not addressed, can take you completely off your path of purpose and destiny. That is why I feel the honest look at my journey can be so beneficial for so many people – giving them the courage to live again.

Right now, I am working on building a non-profit, Get On Your Feet. It is designed to help at-promise youth, prisoners coming through reentry, and people coming out of sex trafficking to create successful lives through offering character development, life skills, vocational training, career readiness, entrepreneurial skill-building, and housing assistance.

Do you recommend any apps, books or podcasts that have been helpful to you?
Too many to list

Contact Info:

• Email: monicagilbert130@gmail.com

Image Credit:
Headshot – Craig Photography

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