Meet Trailblazer Paula Friedland

Today we’d like to introduce you to Paula Friedland.

So, before we jump into specific questions about the business, why don’t you give us some details about you and your story.
A theme that showed up early was the voice….. loud expressive voice, big expression…. In my neighborhood growing up, if someone wanted their kid to come home, they would ask me to yell for them. I also used my voice often to stand up for people and for things I believed in.

 And the theme continued when I majored in music and theatre, and went to NY to pursue this career…and made this, my voice, my career for 13 years. I had some amazing theatre experiences, one of the most incredible, was doing 3 European tours of the 60’s musical, HAIR, playing the lead role.

 But After 13 years of pounding the pavement as an actress in NY, I was craving more quality of life; the life of an actor is tough. But I couldn’t imagine what else I would love doing as much as performing. Then the field of counseling came into my mind, and I felt I had a real affinity for it (I’d been informally counseling friends and family my whole life anyway!). So I moved back to Colorado, went to graduate school, and became a counselor. Soon after, I also became a certified life coach, including seven years as a Tony Robbins coach. Along the way, I stumbled upon this amazing program called “Speaking Circles” which was a unique, humanistic approach to getting over the fear of public speaking. I was instantly hooked, and so I became a certified speaking circle facilitator, and that began ten years of facilitating speaking circle groups. Then nine years ago, my friend and colleague Lizanne Corbit and I took speaking circles, deepened it, put our own spin on it and began co-facilitating these new groups that we called “Soul Speaks”. Through this transformational process, Soul Speaks, we have reached hundreds of people through workshops, small groups, and presentations at numerous conferences. Our mission is, “Change the world by being yourself.”

 But singing/acting were still in my blood, so in conjunction to all of this work in the helping field, I continued to do musical theatre, this time writing my own shows. I’ve co-written three original musical revues, using all songs of the Composer, Stephen Sondheim, and have written a one-woman show called “Aging—the Musical”. I am currently writing a new show called “Me and My Shadow” which focuses on the impact those various critical voices (shadow figures) in our heads can steal our thunder and our joy and keep us from living more fulfilling lives.

 All of these endeavors align with the theme of “the voice”, so the mission continued. However, there was one experience I went through that made this mission strike right into the heart. By first taking me to my knees.

 Eleven years ago, I was rehearsing for one of the shows I had co-written, and I came down with what seemed like a routine cold, a virus that resulted in full-blown laryngitis. It was depressing and frustrating, and I had to cancel the show, while I waited for the virus to run its course. Finally the virus abated, and my speaking voice returned. But my singing voice did not. I was left with an injury to the nerve in the vocal cord, caused by the virus, called “vocal paresis” And it took out the middle and some of my upper range.

 It was beyond devastating. I went through a dark night of the soul, and hellish years of trying to restore it. It has never fully come back. So I had to make the decision to either sing with a limited range or not at all. Well, I couldn’t just walk away from this integral part of myself, my singing voice! I had to keep singing. So I’ve had to make many excruciating adjustments. I’ve had to lower all the keys of the songs, letting go of the identity of being a soprano with a big range. It’s been emotionally devastating.

This experience added yet another layer to the theme of “the Voice”, which has been with me my whole life. This newly added element became this: We must not take our voices for granted. My passion for helping myself and others to put their voices out there was now even more urgent and vital than ever. I’ve made it my mission to help people see how critical their voices are in the world and to break through the fears keeping them from bringing their voices forth. Because we’re not guaranteed to have that voice tomorrow. I know that all too well.

Any advice for other women, particularly young women who are just starting their journey?
In terms of what I would say to younger women: there are so many things; but two things I would say here:

 * The journey is never smooth. EXPECT detours, and delays, course corrections, and surprises along the way. Summed up by this quote: “Don’t pray for calmer waters, work toward a stronger ship”. You are the ship.

 * At the same, don’t play it too safe. Be a little bolder than you are comfortable. And to keep the ship metaphor going 😉: “When a ship is in harbor and moored, it is safe. But that is not what great ships are built for.” (Clarissa Pinkola Estes)

Tell us about your work – what should we know?
I wear a lot of hats:

 HAT #1: I have been a counselor (LCSW) and a certified life coach (CPCC) for 19 years. I am unique in that I am a hybrid between a counselor and coach. You could call me a “coachapist” ™ !

 I know many coaches who do a great job at focusing on a client’s initial goals, but they don’t always have the training or experience to address the impact a person’s history may have on where they are currently. And many therapists, although brilliant in helping a person sort out where they have come from, often don’t focus on also guiding their client into action in the present.

 I’m not a conventional coach or counselor. That’s because in my own life, I have never followed convention; instead, choosing my own unique path toward happiness, fulfillment and truth. I have charted a very creative, spiritual path. At the same time, I have the professional and concrete skills necessary to powerfully coach others in creating the lives they fully desire.

HAT #2: I am a corporate trainer: I have been presenting trainings for all kinds of corporations and conferences, for 20 years. I cover a plethora of topics, a few of which include stress management, resilience, balance, emotional intelligence, mindfulness, conflict, sleep, leadership, etc. etc. etc.

 I do webinars, in-person trainings, workshops, conference break out sessions, keynote speeches.

 My biggest gift as a trainer, I feel, is a connected interaction with every single audience and a gift for leaving every group, regardless of size or topic, powerfully inspired. My goal is to make every training educational, engaging, funny, inspirational and powerful.

HAT #4: I teach a unique approach to getting over the fear of public speaking, called, “Soul Speaks”. Teaching people that being their unique, authentic selves, either one-on-one or in groups or in front of hundreds of people is the most important thing they can do in the world, and for the world.

HAT#5: I am an actress and singer, and continue to write my own shows, the themes of which encompass the various trials and tribulations of being human.

So much of the media coverage is focused on the challenges facing women today, but what about the opportunities? Do you feel there are any opportunities that women are particularly well positioned for?
I think the biggest gift and contribution women can make right now, is being fully in their feminine energy, in every endeavor that they pursue. What I mean by that is to really determine what it means to lead as a woman, not trying to be like a man. We need a balance between masculine and feminine energies in our society, and currently, our culture is in desperate need of more of the gifts that the feminine provides, some of which are collaboration, connection, intuition, nurturing, and bringing together of people vs. cultivating more competition.

Contact Info:

• Website: paulafriedland.com SoulSpeaks.biz
• Phone: 303-283-0083
• Email: paula@paulafriedland.com paulafriedland@comcast.net

Image Credit:
Eric Weber, JLaree Photography, DanielKphoto.com

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