Meet Trailblazer Sandrine Perradin

Today we’d like to introduce you to Sandrine Perradin.

Sandrine, please share your story with us. How did you get to where you are today?
When I decided to divorce my husband, I refused to have the typical ugly destructive divorce. I wanted to divorce my husband but not the father of my children. I had a vision of a Beautiful Divorce where we would care for each other, respect one another, and still be a strong parenting team for our children. While the vision was clear in my head, I had to sell it to him and show him how to do it. My job at the time was Executive Performance coaching. I used all the tools I knew to create this vision and to bring him to the same page as me. It took strength, patience, and courage to make it happen, as there was no one around us who had the divorce I was trying to build, but we did it. We saved our family. I would even say that we became kinder, more respectful toward one another, and our new relationship became healthier, which in turns made us a better family.

I was happy, in fact, the happiest I had been in a very long time. There was no fight and no drama between the two of us. I was free of the pain and happy to be divorced beautifully. I was glowing, and when people asked what was new in my life, I would answer: “I have a Beautiful Divorce”, with a smile from ear to ear. That answer always sparked questions: What does it means and how did you do it? And I was telling my story. I kept hearing if only I would have known you for my divorce, or I know such and such who should be hearing your story.

At that moment, I knew that my story had to be heard. We were surrounded by families who have broken apart because of divorce, and it did not need to be so. If I did it with my then-husband, then anyone could do it. They just needed to know that they have a choice and that it is possible. I went on a quest to discover the world of Divorce and see what was there and if there was something for me to do. I was shocked. All I could see what fear, anger, sadness, and tears. During one of the group’s meetings I went to, after hearing horrible stories one after the other, I decided to speak up. Dozens of mothers came to me thanking me for giving them hope. They had no idea that a Beautiful Divorce could exist, less be created. No one ever told them. All they were hearing was how terrible and horrible it would be and how they would engage in war and lose their family. With my story, I had the power to change that, and I decided it was time to tell the world.

I started to write blogs on Facebook and very quickly gained a large audience who wanted to know more. I wrote about the challenges I went through, the emotions I felt, the success I got, and everything between. I was writing my life with divorce. Not only did it guide them to reframe theirs, but it was also very therapeutic for myself. Amicable or not, a divorce is always painful. It is the end of a dream and I had to deal with a lot of emotions for myself as well.

One day, someone suggested to take all those blogs and make it a book. Why not I said to myself. It should be fairly simple since it’s all written. How naive I was! My editor suggested that I completely rewrite it and make it a memoir. She wanted to know why I thought of divorce like that, where does my parenting skills come from, who were my parents, where did I come from, and who was I? After going back into my childhood, the pain of losing my mother at a very young age, crying again and again and again, “A Family No Matter What” emerged. It was my heart, my soul, the most beautiful story I have ever written. The reviews have been overwhelming. This book touches people’s heart, it guides them and inspires them to be courageous to get the life they really want.

Once the book was published (available on Amazon: A Family No Matter What from Sandrine Perradin), people started to come toward me asking me to coach them to create their own Beautiful Divorce. Little by little, this is all I was doing all day long. Helping and guiding mothers and fathers to work together through their divorce to save their families and create happiness for all.

One day, I remember hearing a voice inside my head, like if it was life telling me: Sandrine, this is your mission. You will be changing how families divorce, and I made it my quest since then. It’s not just about a divorce, but about a new generation. Imagine what could happen if all our children were taught to respect and work together when we disagree and are hurt, instead of fighting and destroying? It could change the world to a better place.

Great, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
Creating this Beautiful Divorce program definitely has seen its challenges. I am a pioneer in the divorce arena. Everything I do is going against this multi-billion dollars industry. I don’t believe that we must fight, and therefore I don’t believe that we need lawyers to fight for us, putting us against one another and breaking our family apart in the process. (Of course, there are cases where you do need a lawyer but in most cases, we don’t need to fight, all we need is to take care of the emotions that make us angry, upset, resentful, and sad.) Breaking the status quo is never an easy thing.

The biggest challenge for me was to convince people that there is a better way to divorce, a way that is not destructive and costly. Yet, because it always has been done this way, people are still doing it, even though they know how horrible it is for them and their children. It was so frustrating to see people doing exactly what they say they don’t want. Many times, I felt like giving up. How could one person change how people divorce? But every time I felt sorry for myself, there was that voice inside me that kept saying: Sandrine, you need to do that. You cannot let those families suffer, you have to help them, you have to change how they divorce. And I got up and kept at it.

My advice to anyone who is wanting to make their marks and change the world? Keep believing in yourself, keep believing in what you do and why you are doing it. Many people will try to put you down, but if you know you are right deep inside and this is your calling, nothing and no one can stop you. Just keep believing, get up, and make it happen.

Please tell us about Beautiful Divorce – what should we know?
Many people refer to me as The Beautiful Divorce Lady. I work with fathers and mothers to guide them through a divorce to keep their family strong and united and to get a drama-free and respectful divorce, so they all can be happy. After all, when we want to divorce, it’s to end the pain, so why would we want to keep bringing it into our future for years to come? This makes no sense to me.

I coach families, couples, and often just the mom or the dad. There is a myth that amicable divorce can only be done if both parents want it. I dare to differ. It starts only with one person. And then, that one person can persuade their spouse to have a Beautiful Divorce. That’s what I do, I show them how to be that person and get the divorce they want.

What am I most proud of? To live what I teach. Every day, I am reminded why I did all that and the impact it has on my children. They are happy, they know they have their parents working together for their wellbeing, and we are both happier today than when we were married. We are a constant role model for all.

What sets me apart from divorce coaches and mediators? I am about the family as a whole while still loving and respecting each other, even after divorce. The way I look at it: Once we have children, we are bound to each other until the end. We are all in it together, and whatever happens to one, impacts everyone else. I am about finding the win-win solution for all.

Which women have inspired you in your life?
I would say without a doubt, that the woman that inspired me the most in my life was my father. Yes, it was a man who raised me to be the woman I am today. My mother died when I was a little girl and my father became my mother. He was my hero, and even now that he is passed, I can still hear his voice guiding me. He is the smartest and kindest man I have ever met. His wisdom was beyond his years. He was always able to make me laugh at myself when I was too serious. He guided me through my emotions, and he made me the parent, the mother I am today. He did all that. I am a strong woman I am today because of my father. He believed in me and always said: Go ahead, try new things, explore, experience, and if you don’t like it, you can always come back home, but do not be afraid, go live your life.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.BeautifulDivorce.com
• Phone: 303-900-8287
• Email: sandrine@BeautifulDivorce.com
• Facebook: facebook.com/groups/DivorceDifferently

Image Credit:
Benjamin D. Buren

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