Today we’d like to introduce you to Christopher Arlen.
Thanks for sharing your story with us Christopher. So, let’s start at the beginning and we can move on from there.
My story is a tapestry of many strings, some long and others short, that have come together to create the beautiful thing I call my life. Each chapter is like a lens in a kaleidoscope: each laying over another creating many perspectives. So much has happened in my life that it is hard to tell my story in any linear fashion. I used to think that my story was the recitation of where I’ve been and what I’ve done. My story is much more than my triumphs and my failures — there have been plenty of both. My story is more about the human spirit and resilience.
I am a student of life. Everything I know I learned from living. I’ve always had to navigate many parts of myself. My parents did an excellent job instilling in us, my siblings and I, a sense of self-worth. They gave us strong values and expected us to live up to them. They taught us to think independently and speak up when we had something to say — and to have the conviction of our beliefs. Most importantly, they taught us how to navigate a world that would sometimes be a hostile place for us. This navigation framework allowed me to navigate being gay and finding my way to live my life with honor and integrity. This framework helped me find new ways of ministry and serving others.
I hope to contribute to others to make my corner of the world a better place. This is the song that lives in my heart. I’ve danced to this song in many ways. I’ve been an evangelist and a street preacher. I’ve owned several businesses, including a limousine service. I’ve been an activist for gay rights and champion for racial justice within the gay community. I’ve been a youth minister and a worship leader. I’ve provided pastoral care for friends and family at the tenderest moments of life. My life is my faith in action.
It is the people I’ve meet along the way who’ve make the largest difference in my life. I’ve meet spiritual giants that loom so large in my mind that their example has become my blueprint for living. I had the honor of knowing the man who told a story so often and with so much passion that everyone now knows it. Leo Page, or Leopold Pfefferberg, told the story of Oskar Schindler to anyone who would listen, including me. We know his story as Schindler’s List. Having seen the worst in humanity, he chose to live in love. “Remember to never forget” he would say each time we parted. His example taught me that compassion and forgiveness are the seeds of resilience.
Jewell Thais-Williams taught me a lesson that could never be taught in a workshop. Jewell’s Catch One was the first and longest running Black gay dance bar in the United States. To me, she was a study in determination, resilience and generosity. I was running an organization that was rife with challenges. I could always call on Jewell. No matter what I needed, she always came through with loving care. If she didn’t have it, she knew where to get it. Her generosity unlocked the generosity within others. Her example showed me that it is love that builds community; everything else is a detail and details can be worked out. She also showed me that grace is necessary at all times because the lack grace is a lack of love. I admire mightily.
My heart has been held by spiritual giants for more than two decades. I’ve had strong spiritual role models who, each time I see them their presence affirms my heart and lifts me up. The consistency in their words and actions inspire me and reminds me to be diligent to demonstrate this same integrity and to be as clear-eyed in my faith. Bishop Yvette Flunder is a force of nature. Love simply radiates from her. She is an oratorical master. The songs in her heart are the old time songs. Her gift, to me, is her obvious love; it’s in her eyes. It’s the ways she speaks to you and the presence and availability in her eyes. And she is a brilliant and accomplished faith leader. Rev. Deborah L. Johnson taught me how to listen intently to the voice of God within myself. Rev. Jim Multiski is generous in spirit in a way that many are not. He has held open the door for opportunity for me and allowed me to be in spaces that I could not have otherwise occupied. I may have lost faith at various times were it not for them.
I’ve matriculated through life. My foundational beliefs remain today. The role models I’ve had, more than I can count, that have helped shape who I am and who I want to be in the world. People and organizations have invested heavily in my personal and professional development. My life is beyond anything that I could have imagined myself. My life is God’s gift to me. What I do with my life, that’s my gift to God.
The greatest treasure I’ve gathered on my journey is the gift of myself; authenticity. I’ve also gathered a quiver full of skills and talents, hard won lessons, and desire to do all the good that I can in this world. I use these treasures to inform my work and to further the interconnectedness that can be found in our shared experiences. I develop workshops and courses designed to foster positive relational dynamics within an increasingly diverse workforce. I use my own experience with conflict to help other resolve conflict in their lives. I speak and I preach as often as I’m invited. I’ve recently found was to use my gifts in the political realm as a candidate for Lakewood City Council.
I’ve been changed by love. There is something that happens when you love someone. Not just in the romantic love, but that deeper love that looks into the soul with a commitment to protecting and nurturing all that is good in there. Love allows us to see what is good in someone and bringing as much sunshine to that space and possible. I learned to love myself unconditionally when I committed to loving my husband unconditionally. Grace multiplies. As I extend grace to him, it becomes easier to have grace for myself. Loving another teaches us to love ourselves. I am better because I love. I’ve become more of me by sharing my heart with his. Every day, he is all the proof I need to know that God loves me.
So, my life isn’t so much about me as it is about the people who have, because of their love, made me the person I am today. I stand on the shoulder of giants and hope that, someday, my shoulders will be wide enough for others to stand on.
Overall, has it been relatively smooth? If not, what were some of the struggles along the way?
There have certainly be trials and tribulations along the way. Many tears have been shed and I’ve been wounded plenty. But this is not where I dwell. I do my best to channel grief, hurt, loss, betrayal and all of the vicissitudes of life into some constructive frame. I am resilient if nothing else. I consider these moments to be my tuition to the school of life.
I learn from difficulty in everything there is a lesson. Sometimes getting to the lesson is like mining, but there is a lesson nonetheless. I’ve made so many missteps along the way. I’ve often done the right in the wrong way. At times, I’ve been prideful and perhaps even arrogant. From this I’ve learned humility and was reminded of the lessons of grace and forgive.
My character has been shaped my living. My life, in many ways, has been a giant paradox. I’ve grown comfortable with that. I am grateful for the whole journey because I don’t know, if I changed one thing, what else that might change. I moved to Colorado for a job that didn’t work out. Usually, I would have simply moved on to the next chapter. I stayed because I met the man that, for nearly 14 years, has inspired me to be the best version of me that I can.
The most painful period of my life has given me strength and have sharpened my resolve. I am grateful that I have found my gifts and have learned to use them well… and for good.
The Soft Skills Company – what should we know? What do you guys do best? What sets you apart from the competition?
I work with good people doing good things! The Soft Skills Company, is the culmination of all that I’ve learned along the way. I work to improve relational dynamics by providing skills-based training programs, group facilitation and conflict resolution services. We work with organizations that are committed to advancing positive workplace dynamics. We promote healthy workplaces as a core investment in the workforce. Our trainings are highly interactive and build on what participants already know. We’ve developed trainings for the U.S. Department of Energy, the Colorado Department of Vocational Rehabilitation and others, reinforcing three essential elements of the professional relationship: accountability, trust and communication.
My mission is to use all that I have learned and experienced to help others achieve success. I’ve mined my life had have applied the lessons in ways that I can share, with humor and grace. I also providing coaching and longer-term consulting services. I believe in what is possible and I help others discover what can be possible in their lives. I don’t often promote myself or my business. Most often my clients have reached out to me because someone has told them about me or how I have helped them with some issue. They tell me their problem and I help them solve it, either through training, coaching and a longer-term consulting arrangement. It’s a pretty cool gig!
What is “success” or “successful” for you?
I am blessed beyond measure. I hold the belief that luck is a combination of preparedness meeting opportunity. In my life, the many opportunities that have come my way has opened a new door of understanding, perhaps introducing a new skill or even meeting someone who would catapult me into my next adventure in which I would become better prepared. As I became better prepared, I have found more opportunities. Luck, good fortune, providence, God’s favor; no matter what you call it, I’ve had plenty of it and I am grateful.
Pricing:
- 90-minute consultation $150
Contact Info:
- Website: christopherarlen.com
- Phone: 720-290-1600
- Email: [email protected]
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